


The Vakarians

by Snizabelle



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Awkward Romance, Canon Compliant, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Humor, Mutual Pining, Pre-Mass Effect 1, Romantic Comedy, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:35:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26417311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snizabelle/pseuds/Snizabelle
Summary: After landing the opportunity of a lifetime to train under a notorious general, Castis Vakarian dreams of political aspirations - but a chance encounter with a bounty hunter makes him question what he really wants.
Relationships: Castis Vakarian/Garrus Vakarian's Mother
Comments: 14
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i've had this elaborate headcanon for like 5 years ever since I went on a walk while listening to the song Avery by Chris Merritt and I'm finally writing it down so I can stop thinking about it

It took exactly 148 steps from the sandy base of the ruins to get to its former grand lobby and Castis had counted every one meticulously. Barely anything stood of the ancient skyscraper but its pillars. The roof had long been destroyed, or caved in with time, allowing the light and sweltering heat of the desert sun to cover most of the floor. Castis froze as he saw a dark shape by one of the large openings across the room. He took out his gun from its holster.

There in the shadows by the weathered railing was a crouched figure, aiming a rifle into the sandy valley below.

Castis aimed his pistol. “Freeze!!" 

It wasn't an unusual sight, the ruins were usually crawling with bounty hunters, vagrants, and thieves. His usual patrol was bound to come upon someone eventually.

The suspect remained still, as they hadn't been moving in the first place.  
  
 _I told an unmoving person to 'freeze',_ he thought. _Spirits, I am a fool._  
  
He tried again. "Stay where you are!"  
  
 _That's even worse. I wish I was dead._

This was hardly his first arrest, but he was still rattled by confrontation. Everything was so much simpler on paper; doing the actual dirty work was too nerve-wracking. He had already spent 6 months on this tiny planet and dealt with his fair share of riffraff. Kaeus may have been a dwarf planet on the edge of turian space but you wouldn't think it with the amount of scum it collected. The small security outpost he was stationed at was one of the only things driving it back, though his real assignment was considered classified.  
  
He tried to keep his hands from shaking as his thoughts continued to scream through his head. "Look, just get up-no stay where you, uh, raise your-" ( _aaaAAAAUUUGH!!_ )  
  
Finally, the suspect stirred. They were wearing shoddy and ill-fitting armor, their head obscured by a large standard-issue helmet. Without turning, they raised a single finger, indicating whatever Castis was spouting could wait.  
  
 _Wait....what?_  
  
"I - _excuse me!_ ", he sputtered, "I am _Sector Security!_ "  
  
There was a brief pause. The suspect slumped their shoulders and a long, exaggerated sigh hissed out from under their helmet. They slowly rose to their feet (making sure to take their time) and threw down the rifle in a way that almost seemed indignant. As if this intrusion was leaving them incredibly put out.

Castis was getting impatient. "I _demand_ you turn around slowly with your hands in the air _now_."

After what seemed like an eternity, the suspect turned and-  
  
There was a deafening sound and the floor flew up to meet his head. His jaw cracked on the ground and he tasted blood in his mouth. He could feel a bruise forming where the kick had landed on his mandible. Enraged, he scrambled to his feet, head pounding. The culprit stood there, seemingly baffled.  
  
"Did you just ..." Castis felt only anger now. "... _assault me?!_ ”  
  
He heard something that sounded like an ' _uh oh_ ' noise muffled in the helmet. Castis barred his teeth. 

_You're damn right 'uh oh'_.

He may have been a terrible negotiator but he was pretty damn good at hand-to-hand combat.  
  
Before the offender had a chance to do anything else, Castis had lunged forward and grabbed their wrist, twisting it, forcing their knees to buckle. Before they could react, he headbutted them on the bridge of their helmet, causing the cheap material to crack. As the assailant fell backward, Castis swept their right leg, hearing a distinct crack as they fell backward, helmeted head thudding on the ground. Panting, Castis steadied himself and surveyed the assailant. There was no movement. He walked carefully around the body and pushed their discarded rifle away with his foot.  
  
"Vakarian! Come in Vakarian!"  
  
A voice crackled onto the communicator on his omni-tool. Castis answered the comm, still trying to catch his breath. "This is Vakarian."  
  
"Status report."  
  
"Sir,” he panted, "Suspect attacked me, but I have rendered them unconscious. Sustained minor injuries. Suspect is unarmed and incapacitated."

There was a pause. The voice cracked again. "Just shoot them."

Castis felt a cold tingle down his spine. He clenched his jaw. "...I repeat: the suspect is _unarmed_ and _incapaci_ -"  
  
"I heard what you said." There was a shuffling sound as though the person speaking was shifting, agitated. "Do it."  
  
Castis swallowed hard, fingers clenching and unclenching. He chose his next words carefully. "Sir...It would be more...prudent... to bring in the suspect for questioning and proces-”

" _Damn you Vakarian!!_ " Castis jerked his head back so violently it smacked the stone wall lightly behind him. " _Do we have to go through this every time?! Do we have to spend hours of paperwork for every infraction!? Just shoot the f -_ "

He disconnected without thinking.

_Damn. Gonna pay for that later._

He glanced over at the motionless figure.  
  
 _‘Just shoot them.’_  
  


***  
  


 _Well, shit._  
  
Marcella was in incredible pain. Hopefully, her leg wasn't broken but it certainly felt like it was. Damn it all. Usually, one kick to the face made rent-a-cops drop like drunk elcor. _Should've sized this one up better. You're getting sloppy._  
  
The crackle of the cop’s comm echoed over to her. "Just shoot them."  
  
 _Spirits...If I had known it was my last day alive I would....would've..._  
  
She struggled to think of something meaningful one could do in their last hours while the comm screeched. There was abrupt silence and she heard the scraping of boots as the officer turned around. 

_Shit. Shit! Not like this!_

More silence. From inside the helmet, she peeked open her eyes for a second to see what he was doing. He was leaning in close. Inspecting her? There was a hunting knife on her hip. Maybe if he leaned in close enough she could get him in the neck. It was her only shot. She felt her helmet jostle and snapped her eyes shut again. Hot air rushed her face as her helmet was removed.  
  
 _Just play dead. Don't move!_  
  
She heard a thunk as her helmet was tossed aside. Her hand was laying under her back by her left side. She could feel the shape of the knife pressing against the back of her thigh. He had straightened up again. Her fingers inched toward the knife, touching the hilt. I could just go for it... maybe he'll be so surprised he won't react? Or I'll just get shot in the face. Well, I'm dead either way. There was another loud crackle as his comm buzzed and almost made her jerk. "Female. No facial markings." She heard the cop say. "Taking into custody. Will report at 0500."  
  
 _What..?_  
  
She relaxed her fingers, retreating them from the hilt.  
  
 _Interesting._  
  


***  
  


 _Faldos can flay me for all I care._  
  
Castis holstered his gun and submitted his report verbally in his comm. "Female. No facial markings."  
  
 _Do things right or not at all._  
  
He walked over to his bag, laying where he had set it by an old pillar. He shuffled through it for a bit, though as usual, it was perfectly organized. He retrieved his handcuffs and turned. The suspect already had one leg up on the ledge and was in the process of climbing over.  
  
"Hey-! You- F-FREEZE!!" He dropped the cuffs, awkwardly grabbed for his holstered gun, and pointed it at her back.  
  
She froze accordingly. "Ugh, come on!" Slowly, she turned, hands begrudgingly in the air. She starred at him, sizing him up.

The first thing Castis noticed was her eyes. They were a piercing blue. He felt a strange pulling in his chest. She had no clan markings but had slight scarring on her left mandible. The way it traced up the side of her face was almost memorizing. She was tall, even for a turian, and her waist was -  
  
“ _Well?_ ” she said suddenly, shaking him out of his thoughts. She sounded slightly amused.

Castis blinked and shook his head. 

_What are you doing? Focus!_

"S...state your name!" He could feel his face grow hot in embarrassment.

She smirked and said nothing.

Castis blinked nervously but didn't relent. “You are trespassing. You are not authorized to be here. Show me identification now or I _will_ take you into custody."

She shrugged her shoulders, the universal sign of indifference.

"Are you aware you attacked an officer of Fort Audax?" Castis said.

"Well yeah," She shrugged again. "I figured the uniform wasn't for show.”

Castis felt himself burn. "Excuse me?"

She smirked again, seemingly excited she was able to get under his skin.  
  
He exploded. "Get on the ground _now!!_ "  
  
Her smile faded. 'Well, I'll _try_." She visibly struggled to kneel on her left leg, glaring at him all the while.  
  
Castis felt a brief bout of shame wash over him. "Hey, uh...I'm sorry if I was too rough. it's okay, I have medi-gel if you need it.”  
  
She continued to glare "I’m fine." She tried to lean on one leg and winced.

"No, you're not. You're hurt." Castis stepped forward.

'Really? You kick my ass then offer to clean me up?" The suspect's eyes flashed. "Go ahead and give me two pops in the back of my head when I kneel, make it quick okay?"

Castis slowly lowered his gun to the ground. He took a few more steps forward and raised his hands. "I promise I'm not gonna hurt you."

The perp raised her eyebrow plates but said nothing.

"Do you...would you mind if I...?" Castis took a few more cautious steps forward. She paused for a second then extended her leg almost dramatically. 'By all means, admire your handiwork." He shuffled close to her and knelt by her outstretched leg. Dispensing some medi-gel, he began to apply a numbing agent to her upper thigh. He was uncomfortably close.  
  
 _Look forward, look forward, look forward, don't be weird, don't be weird -_  
  
"Enjoying yourself?"  
  
His head snapped up to meet her gaze. "NO!"  
  
She was smirking again. His face burned as he hastily rubbed the rest of the medi-gel on her thigh as quickly as possible. He staggered to his feet rubbing the excess off his hands. "Alright, how does it feel now?"  
  
The suspect leaned on her leg gently, then gave a few light stomps. "Hrm, not bad."  
  
She took a few light steps toward him. "Do you make a habit of sensually patching up every girl you subjugate?"  
  
Castis felt his face burn even hotter. "Y-you attacked me first!"

She shrugged, "Eh details...'  
  
 _Details?!_  
  
"Either way, since you refuse to provide any form of identification - and you _attacked_ me -” Castis glared, “I'm going to have to take you in."  
  
There was a long pause. She sighed then extended her wrists.  
  
Castis blinked. "Really?"  
  
"It's only fair, you patched me up." She looked off in the distance as though not wishing to engage in the situation.  
  
"Well....good!” Castis huffed a small sigh of relief. Finally, things are gonna stop being needlessly difficult. He approached her warily. "Now please extend your-"  
  
 _She's already doing that you WORTHLESS-_  
  
"-- _Yep_ just like that, uh, let me just-" He lifted his noticeably empty hands.  
  
 _Cuffs. YOU NEED CUFFS AAAAA-_  
  
"Just...one second," He mumbled awkwardly. The suspect blinked lazily at him, seemingly bored. Castis ran awkwardly back to the pillar where the cuffs lay. He grabbed them and whirled around.  
  
"Okay! Now let me just-"  
  
She was gone.  
  
"HEY!!"


	2. Chapter 2

Shimmying down the ruins was no easy task, especially with her hurt leg, but Marcella didn't have time to be careful. After a few scrapes and shortfalls, she landed on the ground, no worse for wear, and ran as fast as her leg would allow her. By the time that rookie knew what happened, she'd be long gone. Her feet thudded against the cracked, pressed terrain. She thought of making a break for her hovercycle, parked against the other side of the ancient building but thought better of it. The… _dubiously acquired_ vehicle would probably just cause too much-

She snapped her head back as she heard a soft crunching sound behind her. In the distance, still at the base of the ruins, the small figure of Officer Killjoy was running after her. Her shock turned into excitement. _Oh still trying, are you?_ She increased her gait, wincing slightly as her leg throbbed, but managing a small laugh through quick breaths. The crunching grew louder, causing her to look over her shoulder again. The officer was sprinting right at her, faster than she'd ever seen anyone run before. His eyes were furious, arms pumping in perfect rhythm while his feet kicked up small clouds of dust. In only moments he would be caught up with her.

“Oh, _shit_ \--”

She lurched forward in a panic, forcing herself into a sprint. She only made it another few feet before she was violently tackled to the ground.

***

".....Well this is embarrassing."

The suspect lay face down on the ground, face flat in the dirt in a dramatic show of defeat. Castis sat on the small of her back and bound her hands behind her. She didn't bother to struggle.

“Shouldn't run.”

“Oh, _now_ you tell me.” She mumbled.

He finished cuffing her hands and moved off her back and to her side. “Is that too tight?”

“Oh!" She lifted her head to look at him, flecks of sand sticking to her mandibles. "Still trying to be a _gentleman_ \--”

“Alright.” He cut her off, grabbing her by her forearm and lifting her to her feet.

“Hey, _easy!_ ”

He pointed north toward the horizon. The barren landscape seemed to stretch forever, nothing but sun-scorched earth and bits of ancient rocks, the remains of a once-great ancient civilization. Off in the distance was a short building, barely visible under the glare of the sun. “Let's go.”

“Wait, we're gonna _walk?_ ” She twisted her arms but his grip held firm.

“It's fine, I make this walk all the time.” He grumbled. "I'm assuming your leg feels alright considering you _ran_."

She squinted in the direction of the fort. Then Castis's face. Then at the fort again. “...How about a round two, instead? No cheap shots this time.”

He gave her a firm nudge. “March.”

"I was just caught off guard." She was still looking off in the distance. “I could’ve taken you if I just--!" She whirled around and swung her elbow at his face.

" _Gotcha - !_ "

Wordlessly, Castis ducked forward, catching her in her stomach and swinging her over his shoulder. He turned and headed off in the direction of the outpost.

There was a pause.

“.....Okay. Alright. You got me. Put me down, I'll walk."

“Nope.”

“You're _really_ going to carry me all the way there?”

“Yep.”

She hung in silence for a few moments. “You'll get tired eventually.”

“Doubt it.” Loaded marches were commonplace in training. His record was carrying 75 pounds over twenty miles.

He heard an exasperated sound and felt her shift her weight, seemingly to make herself more comfortable. “You're lucky you're cute.”

Castis stumbled, almost taking them both to the ground before quickly regaining his balance.

"Hey-!”

“Sorry, I, uh, s-sinkhole.” He felt his stomach squeeze painfully. There were exactly 1,258 steps to the fort and he decided to focus on counting them.

“You know,” He felt her elbows dig into his upper back as she rested her chin in her hands. “This all could have been avoided if you had just shot me like your boss said.”

A wave of guilt flooded over him. “You heard that?”

“Well, guess I'm your problem n--”

The comm on his wrist lit up. A voice spoke so loud it made the audio buzz.

"Hey, uh, you didn't disconnect while reporting to Faldos did you?"

Castis grimaced.

"Fedorian, I have a suspect in custody right now, I ca--”

"Are you _serious?!_ " The comm screeched violently at the sudden spike in volume. "I'm almost proud of you!! Anyway, can I have your office after he splatters you against a-"

Castis quickly cut the command stared ahead, focusing on the steps. He felt the weight on his shoulder shift.

"So.....who was that?”

“Nobody.” _321, 322, 323..._

“Sounds like a real charmer.”

“He's...nicer than he sounds.”

“Sounds like he's after your job.”

Castis scoffed. “He just thinks he's funny.”

“Seriously, you shouldn't trust anyone like that, even as a joke. They'll eat you alive.”

“It's not like that at all.” He squinted at the fort, growing slowly larger with every step. “He's my....”

 _Only_ _friend_.

“My second-in-command.”

“Oh, got an _elite_ squad huh? To round up criminals like me?”

“That's right.” He lied.

In truth, the fort was manned by a skeleton crew. Beside him, Fedorian, and the General, there were only a handful of men to attend to rudimentary jobs to maintain the outpost. But she didn’t need to know that.

“Aw, do they all flock to you? Their obsequious little leader?”

“Um well…” Castis swallowed. The sun was burning in his eyes and his mouth felt dry.

“Let me guess,” He heard her sigh and felt her elbows slide across his back as she changed positions. “you had something to prove so you became the ideal soldier and all your little underlings worship you.”

“Not…..entirely….” 

“Can you even _be_ friends with your subordinates? Is it weird to hang out in your free time? Do they still have to call you “sir”? I mean, sure, you’re all ‘best friends til the end’, but I bet when it all goes sideways--”

Castis wasn’t listening anymore. A knot had formed in his stomach and was twisting his insides. He found he could no longer focus on his counting.

***

“4:36! Incredible!”

Sargeant Tiran laughed and shook his head, hands on his hips. The big holographic screen in front of the barracks had just been updated with the new mile times for the unit. _Vakarian, C_ had just jumped to the top.

Castis approached the sergeant, freshly showered, and still adjusting his uniform. “Thank you, sir.”

“You have the fastest time in the unit!” The sergeant popped open his omni-tool, jotting down some notes. “Don’t think we haven’t noticed. There are talks of you receiving a special commendation.”

Castis did a stiff salute. “Thank you, sir.”

“Have you thought about Ortus Academy? Someone with your dedication could really succeed there.” He put away the omni-tool and gave Castis a meaningful look. “I’d be happy to give you my personal recommendation.” 

“Thank you, s-

“Yes, yes, I got it.” Sergeant Tiran laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. “Now, go relax in the common room. You deserve it.”

“Uh…” Castis wrung his hands, feeling a wave of unease hit his stomach. “No thank you, sir, I still have some work I-”

“That's an _order_.” The sergeant said, giving him a friendly nod and nudging him with his elbow.

“Yes, sir.” Castis saluted and obediently marched past him and into the wide opening of the barracks. Inside, he turned down one of the long hallways and into a small lounge used for recreation, filled with a few dull-looking couches and tables. He froze in the doorway. A group of seven peers was congregating around a smaller holo-board displaying the running times.

“Nice one, Bellicus,” A jeering private playfully pushed their friend. “10:38? Did you crawl?”

“Shut up, _Aprica!_ I don't see you doing any better!.”

“My dad runs faster than you and he lost both his legs!”

Castis forced himself to take a step closer. The group carried on.

“Maybe he wouldn’t have lost his legs if he wasn’t slow in the first place!” Bellicus shot back. “Ever think about tha-”

Aprica had grabbed him in a headlock and they both fell to the floor in a heap. A third friend tried to break them up but only succeeded in joining the pile. The rest of the group was laughing and cheering at the mayhem.

Laughing, teasing, joking.

Castis opened his mouth. Nothing came out.

_Coward._

Silently, he turned and went to his room.

***

“...and the award for Outstanding Military Achievement goes to…” Sargeant Vantis paused for emphasis, taking a glance around the auditorium but no one seemed particularly interested. “...Castis Vakarian.”

There was polite, reserved applause. Castis marched stiffly across the stage. He turned to the audience, a few hundred newly-made soldiers, and bowed deeply. By the time he rose up the room was quiet again.

“And our final award” The sergeant continued as Castis moved to stand next to a few other award winners. “for Most Improved goes to--”

 _“Woo!”_ A lone voice yelled from the back. There were a few snickers in the crowd,

“...goes to,“ The sergeant glared, eyes darting around the audience. “...Bellicus Ardos.”

An eruption of cheers resounded around the auditorium. Bellicus strode across the stage pointing and waving ostentatiously. He took his place next to Castis, still grandstanding and riling up the crowd. 

“That concludes the ceremony for this evening--”

Castis looked sideways at Bellicus, still posturing, then back at the audience. Some soldiers were pointing and waving at their friends lined on stage, though not at Castis himself, while others were talking excitedly amongst themselves. Everyone was getting ready to move to the adjacent room where they would greet their families.

Castis tore his gaze away from his excited peers and walked toward Sargeant Tiran who was beckoning him over from the side.

“Congratulations, son.” Tiran patted Castis firmly on the shoulder. “I hope you will consider that Academy I was talking about?”

“Not so fast, Tiran,” A broad turian strode up, his tidy uniform showing an almost presumptuous display of shined medals. “I want this one to serve on my ship.”

Castis somehow stood up even straighter and saluted. “S-sir! I--”

“I don’t think so, Barrick,” A short female wearing a formal-looking medical uniform appeared from behind. “Young man, you would be a perfect fit for Perennius Station.”

Castis spun around so fast he made himself dizzy. “Ma’am!”

“Now, now!” Sergeant Tarin had pushed his way through the gathered officials, though still giving proper salutes to each of them. “Vakarian has a lot to think about, how about we let him enjoy the evening with his fellow soldiers?”

The assembled officials reluctantly backed off, continuing to talk amongst themselves as Tarin led Castis off the stage and toward the door where everyone was exiting

“They’re all fine choices!” Tiran said as they weaved through the crowd. “You have a lot to consider, but honestly, I think the academy is your best bet. My offer still stands.” 

Castis nodded a little too enthusiastically. “Yes sir, thank you, sir!” He wished he could think of something else to say.

They stopped right inside the entrance of a large hall where families of all sizes were waiting, some already embracing the graduates who were gradually filling into the room.

“I...know you don’t have family here...” Sergeant Tiran awkwardly patted him on the soldier, “but your friends will celebrate with you! Go, catch up with them, we can talk more later.”

Castis did his best to hide his dismay. “...Yes, sir, thank--”

Tiran had already disappeared back through the door. Castis slowly turned to face the room and swallowed with some difficulty. He held his hands behind his back, then to his sides, then grasped them together, squeezing painfully.

Almost everyone was in the room now. Families, friends, and all manner of acquaintances were chatting and celebrating. Sounds of happiness and praise were buzzing in his ears.

Laughing, yelling, cheering, hugging.

He opened his mouth. Nothing came out.

Internally, he screamed.

***

“I’m guessing this is it?”

Castis blinked a few times and shook the memories from his head. “Huh?” It took a few seconds for him to realize he was in the shadow of a squat, ugly garrison. There were faint markings on the side that had probably said _Audax_ at some point but had long been worn away. 

“Um, yes. Here.”

 _“Finally_.” The suspect placed her hands on his lower back and pulled herself forward, her legs sliding over his shoulders before he had a chance to grab her. She tucked and rolled onto the ground then stood up easily.

“H-hey!” Castis grasped at his unladen shoulders, completely dumbfounded.

“Yeah, I'm not letting you carry me into the building.” She brushed the dirt off her knees and shot him a teasing glance.

He could only glower.

“Come on then.” She strode past him toward the entrance marked by a large and thick metal door.

“Wait, _I’m_ going first!” He pushed past her and angrily punched in numbers on a small keypad next to the door. It slid open with a sharp whine and revealed a dim corridor. 

“Stay close.” He ordered.

The corridor was long and broke into a series of small hallways, each leading to a door marked with a faded label. The walls were bare save for a large flickering screen displaying a static map of the area. The suspect trotted close to Castis’s heels, taking in the monotonous scenery. “Sooo... there wouldn't happen to be a way we could go back for my cycle at some point, is there?” 

“Your what?”

“I had a hovercycle at the ruins I stole-”

He whipped his head around to look at her.

“- _borrowed_. I borrowed it.” She gave him a wide-eyed look. “...from a…a friend.”

Castis grimaced and looked back, mandibles flicking in irritation. He added 'vehicle theft' to a growing list in his mind. He power-walked to the T-shaped end of the corridor and took a right, heading down another dim hallway

“It’s just that, I mean, I _really_ don’t want to walk _all_ the way back--”

“Here.”

They reached a large door identical to the rest lining the hall. The grubby doorplate was labeled _General Andin Faldos_. Castis paused, his finger hovering over the door switch. 

“He can be...irritable. Just let me do the talking.”

“Sure.” She picked at her talons nonchalantly.

Castis pushed the switch that slid open the general's door. He walked a single step in before saluting rigidly.

“Sir, I called earlier. This is the- “

“ _Vakarian_.”

The general's voice cut through the room, deep, gravelly, and terrifying. The lights of his large, bare office were even dimmer than they were in the hall and they flickered slightly causing the shadow of his large frame to shrink and grow. He was hunched over his desk, hands intertwined under his chin as though waiting for this moment for some time. 

“I don't like being cut off."

Castis swallowed, feeling his heart thud against his chest. He chose his next words carefully. “My apologies, General. It will not happen again.” 

“It better not.” The general squeezed his fingers causing them to emit a faint _pop_. “...or I’ll make sure of it.”

Faldos’ eyes darted to the suspect. Castis noticed she was no longer looking very relaxed.

“Who are--”

“Sir.” The suspect stepped forward, looking like she was finally taking this all seriously. “My name is Marcella Khatirus, I’m a bounty hunter. I have been residing on this planet for 3 months. My citizen ID number is D2648233. I had every authorization to be in the Inussanon ruins. If you see here -'' She lit up her omni-tool and showed lines of official-looking documentation, “everything should be in order.”

Castis’ jaw dropped, pure outrage etched in his face.

_What?! WHAT!?_

Faldos narrowed his eyes. “I see.”

The suspect turned her head slightly, looking at Castis in her peripheral vision. She had that teasing look again. 

“ _However_.” Faldos brought his hands down and laid them flat on the desk, his gaze never leaving her. “According to the report, it seems you attacked my officer.”

“Oh...uh…” She rubbed her hands together nervously. “It was more of a scuffle really-- “

“Do you know what I _do_ to criminals who assault my officers?”

The general slowly rose from his desk. Blue energy was enveloping him, making the air around him crackle.

The suspect tensed. “I...I didn’t ....” 

Castis stepped forward. “Sir, wait--” 

Faldos' head snapped toward him. The energy abated.

“--That's not what happened.”

Faldos’ mandibles flared, barring his jagged teeth. He pointed at Castis in a slow, deliberate manner. “ _You_ told me that you were assaulted.”

Castis took a deep breath. He folded his hands behind his back and straightened as tall as he could. “Apologies, sir. It was a miscommunication.”

"A...' _miscommunication''_?"

The energy around the general reignited. In one quick motion, he walked around his desk, stormed up to Castis, and jammed a finger into his chest.

“Do you think I am _stupid_?" He hissed.

Castis stood as still as a stone. “No, sir.”

“Do you _take_ me for a _fool_?”

“No, sir.”

Faldos abruptly turned and threw out his arm toward the desk behind him. A burst of energy came out of his fist, hitting the desk and hurdling across the room. It smashed against the wall violently, it’s shape twisted and bent, a few datapads it held clattered noisily to the ground.

The suspect gaped in shock. Castis didn't even flinch.

Faldos turned back and jutted his face into his, his breath hot and acrid.

“Get the _fuck_ out of my office.”

“Sir.”

Castis saluted, turned on his heel, and marched as quickly as he could out of the room. Marcella practically ran to keep up with him. The door slid shut solidly behind them. They both stood silently.

“That was....” The suspect’s eyes were wide.

Castis gave her a sideways glance. He realized this whole time he hadn't actually seen her afraid.

“Yeah...he’s...” He lifted a hand and hovered it at her side, and considered patting her on the shoulder. “Don't take it personally, he can be very-”

Suddenly, He remembered. He turned to her. The suspect. 

_Marcella._

He grabbed her firmly by her upper arms. Her eyes widened.

"Why didn't you just tell me who you were!?"

Her eyes flashed in amusement. "Why didn't you just shoot me?"

"Why did you _attack_ me!?"

 _"_ Why did you just _lie_ about it? _"_

They stared at each other, both at an impasse.

Castis released her and smashed his hands together, squeezing them violently.

“I just… I just don't understand _why_ \-- “

She threw up her arms in exasperation. "Listen! If I had a credit for every time some rookie with a complex hassled me for just doing my _job_ \--”

“I, uh--”

“Do you have _any_ idea how hard it is to get any actual work done taking in _real_ criminals when people just assume that you’re...just because…!”

She gestured to her old, repurposed armor and her bare face, free of any traditional colony markings.

“Oh...”Castis balked, feeling a little ashamed. "Well, you still should've just...told me your name...."

“Well, to be honest,” Her eyes flashed mischievously. “you're kind of cute and I wanted to spend time with you.”

“Wh...a...” He felt as though he would melt into the floor.

“Maybe we can discuss this further. Perhaps over dinner?”

Castis froze, completely and utterly stunned. He blinked several times, fearing his brain might short-circuit.

_Is she..? Is she really…?? Yes! YES!_

He opened his mouth. This was it. He wouldn't hesitate. Not this time.

“You…! I, ah, y-you’re nice but I...I-I’m...not...!"

“Oh, damn, sorry.” She laughed a little awkwardly and took a step back. “Guess I read that wrong.”

Castis choked. His ears were buzzing and his mind was screaming. He tried to get something out, anything. It was all going so terribly wrong.

“I..! N-no, it’s not…! I’m not…!! Don’t…!!!”

"Hey, it's okay. I understand.” She shrugged. “It was just a thought, don't worry about it." 

She gave him a light pat on the shoulder, turned on her heel, and walked away. By the time Castis had realized what happened, she had already turned down the corridor and disappeared from sight. He stared at the ground, hands shaking, and stomped his foot childishly.

_Stupid! Stupid! Idiot! STUPID!!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know her,  
> I only know her name  
> But once she crawls under your skin  
> You're never quite the same  
> \- Ancient Turian Poet, Philinus Collinsus


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the True Immersive Experience(tm), listen to Cave Crawl by Navie D when Marcella first enters the bar, and Generate by Eric Prydz when Bodi changes the song

“Are you _kidding_ me, Grak?”

Marcella’s hands slammed on the counter. Her rifle sat on top, as beautiful as ever, until the krogan's thick fingers wrapped around it and slid it toward him. It emanated a high pitched screech as it scraped across the rusty metal counter.

“No bounty, no gun.” he growled.

Marcella clenched her jaw and scratched her talons noisily across the metal. Krag’s tiny shop was made even more so by the amount of weaponry that was crammed onto every wall and into every crate. Even its low ceiling had draped nets full of crude swords and maces. Every time she came in it seemed like he accrued more and more. Grak liked to buy or salvage weapons for cheap, then jack up the price by an obscene amount, making them almost impossible for the average customer to buy. He lent them out for a fee, making more expensive weapons obtainable, but forcing the lender to ultimately pay more money for something they could never truly own. Not to mention his connections to cutthroats more than willing to make debtors who didn’t follow the rules disappear. His stinginess was unbearable

“It wasn’t my fault,” She sneered, “there was a co...”

She hesitated as the face of that stubborn cop resurfaced in her mind. It was a few days ago but she could still see him perfectly in her mind’s eye. Dark eyes, broad face, blue markings. What was his name again? Vakros? Vakrin? He could have turned her in and yet….

“...complication.”

“I don't wanna hear it.” Grak rolled his large shoulders, snapping his head to the side and releasing a loud crack. “Now, get out of my sight”

“Oh, come on, don’t be like that.” She went for a different approach, propped her elbows on the counter, and tried to look chummy. “How about a second chance? For old times?”

“That _was_ your second chance.” He turned and hung the rifle on the wall behind him, already full of other confiscated guns. Practically a graveyard.

_What a waste._

“It’s not gonna earn you any credits by just hanging there-”

“I said I'm _done_ with you.” The krogan squared his large shoulders and stared down at her. “Don’t push me.”

Marcella slammed a fist on the counter, her anger boiling over. “Would need a _tank_ to push you, you big, lumbering, fatheaded-!”

Grak thrust his head forward over the counter and smacked her in the nose with his giant forehead.

“ _Augh!_ ” She fell back, clutching her face as she felt a gush of warm liquid drip down her hands.

“That mouth is gonna get you in big trouble someday. Too bad I probably won’t get to see it.” He let out a dry cackle and retreated behind the gun-lined wall.

“Bastard…” She grumbled. She turned and walked out, pinching her fingers to her bleeding nose. 

The door of the shop shut behind her trapping her out into a flat patch of desert, flanked by a few bare hills. The night air was still oppressively hot and dry but of course, as a turian, she didn’t mind. The wind kicked up dust and swirled it around her feet as she made the short walk to an old hideout that was usually used as a bar for the locals. Most of Grak’s customers were bounty hunters and when they weren’t hunting, they were drinking.

A tall repurposed building covered in neon signs advertising defunct services loomed out of the darkness like a beacon for debauchery. The muffled sound of club music could be heard echoing around her as she wiped the remaining blood from her nose and passed under the awning into the dark open doorway.

Repetitive, pounding music accosted her from all sides causing her chest to vibrate. Dust and smoke gathered near the high ceiling, caught in the neon lights that shone from practically every corner. An unassuming eye might think the place was mostly empty. Besides a small group sitting right in the center on some derelict couches, everyone else was huddled in the shadowy corners, conducting deals, selling drugs, or engaging in otherwise shady business. The place was filled with the usual bounty hunters, pirates, mercs, and petty thieves, usually passing through to fuel up and gather intel before moving on to more lucrative planets. 

She ambled over to a large booth near the back where the vibrating beats of the music were reverberating from and approached a bored salarian fiddling with a datapad.

“Hey, Bo-”

“No.” The salarian frowned and tapped a finger on the screen of his e-book.

She scoffed and rolled her head back onto her shoulders, mouth agape at the ceiling in a dramatic manner. “I didn’t even _say_ anything yet-”

“ _No,_ Marcella.” He held the datapad higher, forming a barrier between them. “Go away.”

She exhaled slowly and chewed her tongue. “...Alright.” She rapped the counter with a knuckle and wandered farther along the wall to a short round table with no chairs. A few mercs were leaning on it and talking amongst themselves.

“Hey, guys.” She tilted her head in greeting.

Two of them averted her eyes, starring off purposely somewhere behind her. The third met her gaze and slowly shook his head.

“Damn…” She turned away and surveyed the room, sizing up every patron in the bar. There was not a single person there she hadn’t burned. Except-

“Sulla." She approached a large turian sitting on one of the shabby couches scattered in a circle squarely in the middle of the floor. Sulla was one of the heavy-hitters in the area and one no one cared to cross. Like most, he had various other dealings happening across the planet, but his reputation and connections made him almost untouchable. He carried sway with the other hunters and businesses making him a powerful ally to have if you could get on his good side. As usual, he was flanked by his two lackeys. He was eyeing a dark corner of the bar and didn’t look up.

She crossed her arms and leaned back casually on one leg. “I need your help.”

A voice behind her answered. “I’ll help you, _Mar_.”

A lanky turian with light green markings splashed across his face was laying on the couch behind her, picking his teeth. He was another common face around here and his favorite pastime was being irritating. 

“ _Turkus_ ,” She turned to sneer at him. “Do _not_ call me that.”

“Hmmm…” He slid out his tongue and spat out a nail. “Where’s that rifle you’re always carrying? Don’t tell me you lost it…”

“Grak is holding it for me. I need some help getting it back.” There was no use lying.

“So you’re unarmed?” he asked innocently. The look he gave was disconcerting.

She stared him down. Turkus was always all talk and no action, but he had to have had the most punchable face in the galaxy. He and his sister were among the others that hovered around Sulla like flies on a carcass. They could both choke. “I don’t need a gun to kill you.”

“Both of you shut the fuck up.” Sulla had not looked away from the corner. He leaned forward, leering hungrily as though stalking some kind of prey. 

Marcella tore her eyes away from Turkus who had started to make a lewd gesture. “The hell is _your_ problem?”

“There's a cop over there.” He pointed a finger slowly and deliberately toward the dark corner he was watching. “Right...there.”

Marcella scoffed. “Yeah, right...” But even so, she subtly turned her head to catch a glimpse at the corner.

Standing in the corner under one of the support beams was a law enforcer from one of the nearby outposts trying to fit in. His posture was unnaturally rigid except for his head which swiveled around erratically as though trying to keep an eye on everything at once.

_Total amateur._

“...Huh.” She glanced back at Sulla “Well, then...what are you gonna do about it?”

He bit his tongue. “What we always do to trespassers.”

Marcella took a wary glance around the room. “He might not be alone...”

“Then we need to _get_ him alone.“

She shook her head. “Pretty sure when he sees you coming he’ll run. No one’s _that_ stupid.”

Sulla considered. His two cronies leaned in intently, ready to do their masters bidding.

“Listen, here’s a deal for you,” he said finally, flashing his sharp teeth, “lead him out back and I’ll talk to Grak for you.” 

Marcella felt a rush of relief. Sulla’s reputation was worth more than just intimidation.

_But..._

“What'll happen to him?” She nodded in the cops direction.

The look Sulla gave her said it all. “We’ll take care of it.”

She took another sideways look at the suspicious figure. He was probably some rookie sent out on patrol by a cruel supervisor. That, or he thought he could take on a hideout of thugs by himself. Either way, no one deserved what Sulla was planning on doing to him in the back alley with his team of miscreants. But there was no other alternative. Trying to survive out here without a gun would be suicide. It was that sad little rookie or her.

_Poor bastard._

“Fine.” 

She backed up, readjusting her jacket, and turned toward the corner. She made her way slowly toward the supposed cop’s direction, walking and musing inconspicuously as to not draw any attention from him. Halfway across the floor, her feet started to drag. She felt herself deflate, thinking of all the terrible things Sulla and his mooks would do to this poor idiot.

_Keep it together. You need that rifle._

Finally, she managed to make it over to the corner, making sure to approach him from behind. He was too fixated on a pair of gamblers arguing over a bad call to notice. She lifted a finger to tap his shoulder and prepared a flirty line.

_‘Hey, new around here? Why don’t you come out back? I have something to show you…’_

Her finger hovered inches over his shoulder. Her mandibles twitch nervously.

_Do it. You have to._

She noticed a slight movement and glanced down. His leg was slightly trembling. She let out a long sigh and cursed under her breath.

_This is why no one trusts you_

She slammed her hand hard on his shoulder and felt him tense. "Excuse me, _Officer_ , do you have a death wish?"

The cop whirled around, eyes wide and hands up defensively. He was a few inches shorter than her, but stood up unnaturally straight, accentuating his wide shoulders. His jacket was awkward and loose-fitting, obviously just some civvies he had thrown together in place of a uniform. He had dark eyes and a broad face with a thick blue line across his nose, cheeks, and mandibles-

Marcella’s mouth fell open. " **_You!_ **"

"Uh-!” The cop froze, eyes wide in unblinking shock.

She threw her hands up in disbelief. "What are you _doing_ here?!"

 _“_ Mar-!” He snapped his jaw shut and cleared his throat noisily. “I mean, _Miss_ Khatirus…!”

Her eyes lit up and she felt the shock ebb away into something warm. “You... _remembered!_ ”

“Well, of course!” He had clasped his hands together and rubbed them nervously. “How could I forget?”

A light feeling was thrumming in her chest. He seemed actually happy to see her this time, the stern face reminiscent of their last meeting was relaxed and almost...pleased? He was still as cute as she remembered. Even his stance, the way his hands were constantly fidgeting, awkward but earnest and well-meaning. The fact that he had stood up for her...a rare kindness in her line of work. It was odd, she never thought she’d see him again, and yet having him in front of her now made her feel a kind of happiness she hadn’t felt in a long time. She felt herself unconsciously reaching for his hand.

_Oh no._

The light feeling immediately died and a cold shock of panic zapped its way up her spine as reality set back in. She felt the eyes of Sulla and his ugly gang, watching them and waiting to make their move.

Now it was her turn to freeze. “ _No, no, no!_ ” She muttered, eliciting a confused look from the officer. She clenched her jaw as wild ideas ran rampant in her head. She had to get him out of there.

_Think. Think!_

There was only one thing to do. She gave him an apologetic look.

"Sorry about this-”

Suddenly, she stepped forward, closing the gap between them. She seized his hands and pulled them past her waist, tugging his head forward until their foreheads bumped together.

 _“_ Oh, it’s _you!!_ ” She shouted loud enough for the whole bar to hear. “You came to see me!! _”_

“Wha-!?” The officer’s face was contorted in mute horror at the sudden intimacy. He sputtered and shook. “Wha...what are you-!?”

She nuzzled against his cheek and whispered in his ear. " _You are in serious danger._ "

She grabbed his shoulders and spun him until his back was to Sulla and his gang, then pulled him into a hug. She peered over his shoulder at them, flattened her hand, and made a swiping motion at her neck.

_False alarm._

“Come! Buy me a drink!”

She led his shivering form across the over to the bar, a sea of eyes staring from the shadows.

“Bartender!” She motioned to an annoyed looking batarian leaning on the counter.” Two of my usual please!!” Her voice rang across the room.

The bartender stared. “I don’t _know_ what your ‘usual’ is-”

She leaned in closer and growled. _“I don’t care, Thok! Just give me anything!”_

He rolled his multiple eyes and grabbed the closest bottle and 2 greasy cups. He poured a blue liquid messily into both of them. Marcella swiped them up, immediately splashed one of them into her mouth. She turned to the cop and thrust a drink into his hand.

“I’m so glad you could make it out!” She was still speaking more to the room than to him. “I missed you so much, Officer...uh…...”

She paused, lowering her voice to a whisper. “What was your name again…?”

He stared at his glass, nervously sloshing the liquid. “…Vakarian.”

“ _Right!_ ” She gave herself a light smack on the forehead. “Of course. Officer Vakarian.”

He looked up and they locked eyes for just a moment. His eyes were a dark purple, it reminded her of the violet glow of the night sky. She felt the light feeling again.

She shook the feeling away. “Look, you really shouldn’t be here.” She leaned in and touched him lightly on the shoulder, keeping her voice low. “This is _no_ place for a stake-out. Everyone here would love nothing better than to beat the shit out of you and then display your body outside as a warning. _Dark clouds come to swallow your stars_ , do you understand?”

The officer blinked at her in confusion. “‘Dark clouds'…?”

“ _Yes!_ You _need_ to pretend you're with me and try to fit in.” Marcella leaned past him to catch a glimpse at the exit. 

“Just follow me and maybe we can sneak out the…”

A figure was standing in the doorway, haloed in the neon light from outside. She could just barely make out a face, staring straight at them and grinning sinisterly. It was Turkus.

 _“Shit!”_ She blurted. They were not gonna make this easy.

The officer jumped, spilling some of the drink on his ill-fitting jacket. “What? What happened?”

“I... _hate this song!!_ ” She yelled, whirling on him with false indignation. She grabbed his wrist and began pulling him toward the DJ booth. “We’re changing it _right now!_ ”

“Wait-” He stumbled as she pulled, still gripping the mostly-full glass in both hands.

“ _Drink it!_ ” She hissed.

He stiffened at the order and downed his drink obediently, finishing with a shudder.

“Come on!!” She yelled, yanking at his wrist, “Bodi can hook us up!” She pointed at the salarian in the booth who had looked up at the noise and caught her eye. He started gesturing wildly that whatever she was doing he didn’t want to be a part of it.

The cops' nerves seemed to alleviate slightly. “A salarian? Here?”

“Oh yeah, Bodi tried to play bounty hunter.” They were almost halfway across the dance floor and Bodi was bracing himself for their presence.

“I’ve...never actually met one before.” Vakarian admitted, “Do salarians make good bounty hunters?” 

Marcella scoffed. “Well, he’s here playing shitty techno so you tell me-”

“Oh, _hello_.”

A short female had stepped directly in front of them almost causing Marcella to stumble. One of her mandibles was partially torn off, showing a half-face full of teeth.

“Who’s this? New guy?” She squeezed between them, shoving Marcella roughly with her elbow and sliding up uncomfortably close to the officer. “You’re kinda cute. What’s your name?”

Marcella clenched her jaw and slowly inhaled between her teeth. Turkus’ equally annoying sister. He must have sent her to come sniffing. 

“Careful, _Pyra_ ,” Marcella’s eyes flashed with malice. “You know what happens when you try to take what’s _mine_.”

Pyra slowly turned toward her and bared her already exposed teeth. “ _Marcella_. Am I supposed to believe you’re with this guy?”

“Well, _obviously._ ” She placed a hand on his waist and felt him shudder. “Officer Vakarian and I have a long history.” She flexed her mandibles and exposed a few sharp teeth of her own.

“Oh?” Pyra looked from his face to hers, studying them both carefully. “Okay, what’s his _first_ name?” 

_SHIT._

“Ah...well...” Marcella blinked nervously and readjusted her grip on his waist. “You see….he...”

Prya crossed her arms, smugness radiating throughout her body.

Marcella paused then gave a soft chuckle. “Huh…..I didn’t know you had a thing for men in uniform!”

Pyra let out a harsh laugh “Don’t change the subje-”

“Is that why I saw you talking to that patrol the other day?”

Her laugh died in her throat. “...What?”

“You were talking to them for a while. I could only catch a bit. Something about a guy named...” Marcella eyed her meaningfully. “...Markus?”

Pyra stiffened, her eyes bulging out of her head.

“Yeah, and...something about...a stolen shipment?” She tilted her head and placed a finger on her chin. “Hm, you know, I think I actually _know_ a guy named Markus, do you think it’s the same person?”

Pyra opened her mouth but only a pained gurgling sound seemed to escape it.

Marcella put her hand to her mouth, eyes gazing at the ceiling in mock contemplation. “Should I say something to him? If it involves him it’s probably something he should know-“

 _“Shut it!”_ Pyra finally exploded, her face angry and open and full of teeth.

“So, are you saying...I should perhaps...” Marcella lowered her hand slowly and locked eyes with her, “.... _mind my own business?_ ”

She slid a hand up Vakarian’s arm and wrapped it around his bicep. She gave it a quick squeeze, a subtle attempt at a warning.

_I’m really sorry about this._

Without breaking eye-contact with Pyra, she slowly leaned into the cop’s neck and placed her mouth onto the side of his throat. In one steady motion, she stuck out her tongue and licked the side of his neck up to the base of his jaw.

To his credit, he didn’t flinch.

An angry sound escaped Prya's teeth, but she backed off and turned to slink back from whatever dark corner she came from. Marcella pulled away and gave Vakarian an apologetic look.

“Sorry about that. I had to _really_ sell it.” Her mandibles flicked mischievously. “She didn’t seem like your type anyway.”

Judging by the look he was giving her, he didn’t feel too broken up about it.

The light feeling returned.

***

Castis was reeling.

He didn’t drink alcohol, he didn’t like the taste or the way it clouded his head. He tried to keep himself focused, tried to keep his feet steady, but was failing miserably. Between the drink, the noise, and all the excitement it was almost too much. Panic flared in the back of his mind every time some new realization reared its ugly head. 

_I should not have come here. I’m in too deep. I’m a fool and I’m going to get myself killed._

Anxiety ebbed and flowed inside him like waves on a shore. Every time he felt a wave rise, threatening to pull him under he would look at her and-

“Don’t worry,” Marcella smiled and gave his hand a light squeeze. “You’re doing great.”

-the wave would shrink, lap at his shoulders, and gently pass through him. 

“Alright, Bodi!” She had dragged him the rest of the way across the floor and was now accosting the agitated salarian sitting at the booth.

“Play that song! You know, with the, the one that goes-” She waved her hands at him, as though trying to coax the name out of him,”-you know, the one I _always_ ask for, come on, you know!”

Bodi scrunched his face in disgust.

“I’m _not_ playing that song again you keep-”

She pounded a fist on the table. “ _Play the fucking SONG!!”_

He yelped in fear, whirled over to a panel of bright colored buttons, and started pushing them frantically. 

The song transitioned to a softer beat accompanied by some light melody and a voice singing about love or rhythm or something else vague. Castis closed his eyes and attempted to bob his head rhythmically. He didn’t care much for music and he was no dancer, but the alcohol was really taking hold now and he felt himself start to get into it a little. Maybe this wasn’t so bad. See? He could be ‘fun’ when he wanted to be. Surely she’ll be impressed by how easy-going he is. Maybe he could even take her on a real outing and they wouldn’t even have to worry about being murdered-

He felt Marcella’s hands grab his shoulders and he gasped, snapping his eyes open again.

“Just follow me.” She gave his shoulders a light squeeze and trailed her hands down his arms, making him shudder. She reached his hand and her talon clinked on the empty glass he was still holding.

"...Why do you still have this?"

He gulped. “I...didn't have anywhere to set it down-!”

“Focus! ' _Dark clouds’,_ remember?!” She shook his wrist violently in an attempt to loosen his grip. “Just - _drop it -!”_

“ _No!”_ He clutched the glass to his chest protectively. “Someone could step on it and trip or-or it could break and then it-it _cuts -!”_ He felt himself getting emotional.

_Spirits, this is why I don't drink._

“Okay, _okay_ !” Her hands went up defensively. “Look, how about you just give me the cup and I’ll give it to Bodi, okay? _Bodi_ will put it away. Is that alright?” She gave him an empathetic pat on the shoulder.

“...Yeah.” Castis held out the glass and dropped it into her hands feeling incredibly foolish.

She held it over her head. “Bodi! Heads up!”

She tossed the cup in an arch behind him. He heard the tinkle of breaking glass and a high pitched scream that sounded distinctly salarian.

“There, done.” She put her hands on the sides of his face. “Now just _relax_. Sway with me, like this.” She slid her hands down to his shoulders and started to rock her hips back and forth to the beat.

Castis took a deep breath and tried to quiet his anxious mind. The music continued to pulse, resonating with his own heartbeat. He obeyed her and began to slightly sway his hips. Despite the haze from the alcohol, he still felt a little ridiculous.

She gave a wary glance around the room. ” _Closer,_ ” She ordered. 

He shuffled forward awkwardly and hovered his hands over her body, not sure where to put them. 

“Uh…”

She quickly placed his hands on her waist and put her own hands back on his shoulders sliding them forward to lightly brush the back of his neck with her claws. He twitched instinctively.

“Sorry.” She gave him an apologetic look. “I know this is…a lot, but it’s _gotta_ be convincing.” She leaned forward toward his neck, causing him to gasp.

“Don’t worry, I won't-” She leaned back and snorted, holding back a laugh, “-I promise I won’t _lick_ you again.” She leaned forward again and rested her head on his shoulder. The warm weight of her body made him shiver.

“Relax _._ ” She chuckled. “Just pretend you like me.”

He exhaled slowly and allowed himself to rest his cheek against her head. There was no need to pretend.

“ _That's_ it....” Her hands went to his waist, moving him to sway along with her.

Cas felt like he could melt into the floor. In truth, he had very few experiences with dancing, all equally unpleasant, and had come to the conclusion that it was terrible and not worth enjoying. Just another thing to avoid, among all the others he had failed at immediately and thus, given up entirely. Dancing wasn’t an important skill to have no matter what Fedorian said. But this…

He swayed, moving along with her hands, his body melting into hers.

_Maybe I could enjoy dancing._

“Alright, ready?” She turned suddenly and whispered excitedly in his ear. “When I give the word, we break away and when the beat drops, I want you to see you really _dance_.”

“You...what? Drop? Beats can drop?” The relaxing haze had evaporated and was replaced with sudden terror.

She could barely contain her amusement. “Wait for it…!” 

Suddenly, he sensed it. The beat had become faster and more intense, obviously about to ramp up to something.

“Nonono _-_!” He started to panic. “I didn’t agree to-”

“ _Ready_ …!” She was bouncing on her toes.

_“No! I have never been nor will ever be ready-!”_

“ _Go!”_

The music had crescendoed, erupting into a loud culmination of melody and bass, thumping and singing. Marcella jumped back, releasing him from the safety of her embrace, and started performing a dizzying array of movements.

Castis froze, completely lost. He made a sad attempt to copy her moves but her speed made it impossible. Arms waggling limply, feet shuffling clumsily. His brain was screaming in panic.

_I NO LONGER ENJOY DANCING._

The music was so loud. Everyone was probably staring. The wave of anxiety was back, higher than ever, rolling into a crest. It bore down over him, a wall of water, powerless in its shadow. He was going to drown.

Marcella noticed him floundering and danced over in a bid to save him.

“Stop trying so hard!” She shouted over the song. “Just _feel it!_ ”

“I _feel_ like an _IDIOT!_ ” Heat rose in his face. The urge to flee was overwhelming. He looked around frantically as if for a nearby hole he could crawl into and die.

“Come on!” She panted. “Dancing is about letting go. No one’s watching you-”

He lowered his voice, “ _You said this whole bar was watching me!”_

“Not your _dance moves,_ you _tu’vra!”_ She pulled his arms, spinning him around. "Look, whose opinion do you care about more, theirs?" She jutted her chin at the direction of the crowd then turned back toward him, eyes narrowed. “Or _mine_?”

Again, the wave shrunk and broke gently upon his body. He would try.

_For her._

The music was practically boring into his skull. He squeezed his eyes shut and started bobbing his head. Then, he started tapping his toes. He gyrated his hips. He pumped a fist in the air. He even threw in a half-hearted ‘woo _’_.

It was no use. “This is so _embarrassing_.”

Marcella scoffed and shook her head, still moving to the song. “You know what's _really_ embarrassing?” She leaned in, her voice flat. “Being _carried_ the entire way to your little fort like a child.”

“...Oh.” He felt his insides curdle. “I didn’t...but you were…!”

“Which _reminds_ me.” Her mandibles twitched eagerly and a sultry look crossed her face. She lifted a finger and traced it down his chest and around to his side. Castis felt a tingle go up his spine.

“I-I..!”

Suddenly he felt one of her claws jab him in the side.

“Ow!” He yelped. “Why-!?”

“ _That_ ,” She grinned wickedly. “Is for making me _walk-”_

“Hey!” He yelled as she poked him again.

“- _all_ the way _back_ -”

_“OW!”_

“-to get my _cycle!_ ”

A spark of irritation gave him an ounce of courage. “Well, _maybe-,”_ He wrapped his arms around her, pinning her arms to her sides, and lifted her off her feet. “-you shouldn’t have _kicked me in the face!”_

“Hey-!” Her smile faded and her eyes went wide in surprise. He felt her body tense.

“Oh, damn-” Castis set her down immediately. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to scare-”

“No, do it again!” Her eyes flashed with excitement and she bounced on her toes again. “But this time, spin me around!”

“Uh, okay!” He grabbed her waist and lifted her into the air while pivoting into a spin.

“ _Yeah!!_ ” Her hands clutched his shoulders and she threw her head back. “Faster!”

He turned in a tighter circle and felt the alcohol in his stomach slosh around.

_Don’t throw up, don’t throw up, don’t throw up._

He set her back down but continued to hold onto her waist for support. His feet were wobbly but his head felt a strange euphoria. The room teetered in a way that resonated with his dizziness.

“This is...kind of fun...” He panted. 

”Told you.” She gave him a wink then suddenly moved toward his waist. “Okay, your turn--!” 

“ _NO!_ ” He grabbed her wrists and held them in an iron grip.

She threw her head back and laughed. “I’m _kidding!_ ”

“...Ah. Right.” A nervous chuckle escaped him. He softened his grip but didn’t let go.

She gave him another wink and lifted his hand, twirling herself underneath it. The music continued to pulse and she continued to move on beat. Her head bobbed and her hips moved, never losing the rhythm. She pulled and pushed his hands, guiding him through simple movements. Every time he locked eyes with her he felt his chest thump harder. Any independent movement on his part was met with encouraging looks which only fueled his confidence. At one point he managed the courage to even twirl her on her own.

She gave him a sly glance. “ _Now_ you’re getting it.”

He felt his heart tug. 

“Yeah.” He allowed himself to smile. “I wish this was…”

_Real._

“Hm?” 

“Ah...mm.” He clenched his jaw.

He understood the act. Understood that this was all pretend. If, or when, they actually made it out alive he would never actually dance with her again. She wouldn't grab his hand or tell him it’s going to be okay. He probably wouldn't ever see her again. The thought turned the wave into a sinkhole, the water thickened into mud that pulled at his limbs. He felt himself sink and he didn’t bother to struggle. He had to accept it.

“You know, Pyra had a point.” She said, snapping him out of his proverbial bog. 

“Huh?”

“I don’t know your first name.”

“Oh...yeah.” It was true, and now he felt a little unsettled. The thought of giving her the privilege of knowing his first name gave him a feeling he couldn't quite describe. “l guess we didn’t really get the chance for a formal introduction...

“Well then.” She let go of his hands and took a large step back. “Allow me to _properly_ introduce myself.”

She leaned into a low bow.

“My name is...“ She paused for dramatic effect. _"Marcella Khatirus._ ” She looked up, mandibles flicking and crinkled her nose. “As you so _kindly_ remembered. And you are..?”

He smiled back in spite of himself.

“I’m…” A strange feeling welled in his chest, as though he was about to take a plunge into a dark body of water. “.....Castis Vakarian.”

Her mandibles flicked revealing a smile and her eyes narrowed. She seemed to study him, eyes roving over his face as if seeing him properly for the first time.

“ _Castis.”_ She breathed.

A jolt shot up his spine that exploded in his head, raining down warmth and settling in his chest. The music, the lights, and the room was all a sluggish alcoholic haze, but this he knew for certain. His name from her mouth was the sweetest sound he’d ever heard.

Slowly, her eyes went from his face to above his head, eyeing something far behind him.

“The door.”

“Hmm?” He stared at her, mesmerized.

“It’s clear.” Her voice was still soft.

He followed her gaze and looked over at the exit. Wide-open, a square of bright light in the dark room. 

She blinked furiously and clamped her mandibles tight to her mouth. “The _door-!_ ” She snatched his hand. “We have to go. _Now_.”

Castis also blinked, snapping himself out of his trance. Of course. The threat of imminent death. He had almost forgotten. His whole body jerked as she yanked him toward the exit, head down, pushing anyone even remotely close out of the way.

“ _Move it_.” She snarled at a patron who had walked across their path. They returned a look of disdain.

"I swear I’ve never seen it so crowded," She mumbled seemingly to herself. "How many people are actually here?”

Castis didn’t hesitate. “37.”

She shot him a quizzical look. “Uh, okay, well we should be good as long as-”

A large figure was suddenly in front of them, apparently waiting in the shadows for just this moment. He was flanked by two apparent underlings holding large guns. Marcella froze, causing Castis to bump painfully into her shoulder.

“ _Fuuuughh…!!_ ” An angry sound ground out of her throat. He felt her squeeze his hand painfully.

The figure wasn’t especially tall but his very presence seemed to loom over them. His calm demeanor was undoubtedly a mask for something more sinister and violent. The neon lights flashed across his face revealing small yellow markings around his nose and chin.

“Hi.” He said simply. “Going somewhere?”

Castis straightened up, took a few steps forward, and gave the turian his most authoritative stare. Marcella may reduce him to a quivering mess, but he wasn’t afraid of any sadistic criminal.

“I’m _leaving.”_ His voice demanded respect. “You can go about your business.”

“Mm.” The turian nodded slowly, his eyes boring into him. His voice was calm but his subvocals buzzed with an underlying threat. “I don’t think so.”

“Stop-!” Marcella pushed Castis’s arm out of the way, forcing him to broke his gaze with the criminal. He hadn’t even realized he had lifted an arm to shield her.

“ _Sulla._ ” She addressed the figure. “He’s with _me_.”

Sulla’s eyes darted to her as though just noticing her presence. The humming of his subvocals grew louder.

“We had a _deal-_ "

“ _The deal is off!”_ She snapped.

There was a long pause as Sulla’s eyes seemed to bore into her skull. No emotion so much as flickered across his face. 

"I won't forget this." He said finally. He made a slight head motion signaling his cronies to follow him and walked past them and into the dark.

Marcella closed her eyes and let out a long breath she seemed to have been holding. "Damn, that's...everyone." She jammed her fingers into her eyelids and rubbed. "I've officially burned everyone."

What?” Castis tore his eyes away from the thugs and glazed at Marcella. He fought the urge to touch her shoulder.

“Nothing.” She placed her hand on his back and pushed him the rest of the way to the exit, leading him out through the door and into the night.

The night air was a reprieve from the oppressive atmosphere of the bar. Castis took a deep breath and exhaled as though the air could clear out any remaining nerves. He felt her hand leave his back.

“Sorry about all that.”

He turned. “It’s okay...thank you for...”

“Yeah.” She adjusted her jacket collar, a far-off look in her eyes. “Don’t come around here anymore. Sulla won’t be so... _forgiving_ next time.” 

“...Right.”

There was a long silence between them. The wind whipped around their feet, kicking up specks of sand and swirling it around them.

“Well,” She gave a curt nod in his direction and turned to leave. “Until next time.” He could hear the faintest sound of dismay in her voice. A promise they both knew would never be fulfilled.

“ _Wait_.”

She hesitated. Normally, Castis would shut his mouth and leave, lingering questions be damned. But he couldn’t let her just walk away. Not again.

“What….was that back there?” He asked tentatively. Somehow, he knew he wouldn’t like the answer.

“...Ah.” The gravel crunched under her boots and she shifted uneasily. “Sulla noticed you and wanted me to...help him out.” She averted her eyes in shame. “I could have sold you out for a gun. They took mine away.”

“What? You don’t have a _weapon_?” His hands flew together and he squeezed them painfully. Her, in that bar unarmed...

“I didn’t say I didn’t have a _weapon_ , I said I didn’t have a _gun_ .” She gave him a wink that he didn’t quite follow. “But, hey, even _I’m_ not good enough to bring anyone in without some decent firepower. Truth is, I owe money to this weapons dealer. I could pay him back if I collect _bounties_ but I can’t collect _bounties_ if I don’t have the _gun_ so--”

“Oh.” Castis clenched his jaw, mind racing. “Maybe...maybe there's something I can…?” He wasn’t even thinking about the logistics of what he was saying.

“No way.” Her voice was firm. “Grax has his stupid favorites, and his connections and…” She waved her hands dismissively. “He doesn’t know you, he wouldn’t trust you, and he _definitely_ wouldn’t let you out of his sight. Probably just try to distract you with his war stories until he can get you to-”

She froze, eyes wide and mandibles twitching. Her hand slowly moved to her chin.

“...What?” He looked at her warily. “What is it?”

She wasn’t listening anymore. He could almost see the gears of her mind beginning to turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Dark clouds come to swallow your stars': Asari idiom - Something bad is about to happen/ Don't trust anyone around you
> 
> Tu'vra: Asari slang - A more polite, albeit childish way of calling someone a dumbass (dork, doofus, big silly, etc)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turian name formality - It's turian etiquette to refer to someone by their last name if they don't know them very well. First names are only for someone you know well enough, nicknames are reserved for family and very close relationships.
> 
> Klixen - scary fire bug

“...This is a bad idea.”

They were crouched outside of Grak’s door, the neon light of the hovering advertisement sign washing over them, blinking sporadically. Even for a shack on a depleted planet, it was small, but the door was rigged with all kinds of security tech. It didn’t take a genius to know there were valuables inside, and that it would be a fool’s errand to try to break in. A small slit on the upper part of the door was the only indication there even was an interior. Castis wrung his hands, eyes roving over the various scratches on the building's metal surface, too many to count. A bad sign. He squeezed his hands even tighter. “A really, _really_ bad idea.”

Marcella’s hands were clasped together in front of her face. Her eyes shifted in thought, back and forth so quickly it looked like her pupils were vibrating. She’d had this expression for almost ten whole minutes.

“Yes.”

“If this fails, we will be screwed.”

Her expression didn’t change. “....Yes.”

Castis’s eyes darted from the door to the sign, back to her. “...No. No way, this isn’t gonna work-”

“Yes, it _will_.” She grabbed his shoulders, her eyes finally focusing on his face. “Grak always keeps the back door open when he’s in the shop. All you have to do is keep him distracted. Buy something, attempt to arrest him, make small-talk, I don’t care. _Just keep him occupied_. I’ll take care of the rest. _Trust_ me.” She nodded reassuringly. “I’ve done this before.”

“...You’ve stolen a gun from this place before?”

She paused. “Well. No. _But it will be fine!_ ”

“I…” Castis’s fingers were practically numb from his grip. Normally, he would never even consider doing something like this. It certainly seemed every time she was around, he went along with whatever she wanted. Dancing, drinking, not to mention lying to a superior officer’s face. _What was it about her?_ And now this. However...she _did_ help him. His foolishness would have surely resulted in him becoming a blood smear on that bar floor if she hadn’t saved him. Technically, he owed her. 

He sighed and popped his head up and peeked into the tiny slit in the door. Through the window he made out an impossibly large form, milling around the shop and tending to its wares. They had a large hump on their back, wide-set eyes, and a wide mouth full of sharp teeth-

“A _KRO_ - _!_ ” He choked, quickly ducking his head back down. “Is that a...!” His stomach churned into knots. _A krogan? Really?_ He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. What a night this was turning out to be.

“Oh, they're not that scary come on-”

“ _No way!”_ He balled his hands into fists and started knocking them against his temples. _“_ No! I can't, I've never-!”

“ _Listen to me!_ ” She gripped his upper arms and gave him a firm shake. “You won’t be in danger, if anything happens _which it won’t,_ it’ll all be on me-”

_“I don’t want that either-!”_

_“Focus!_ You can do this. I _believe_ you can do this. I saw you in that bar, you were great! And we made it out didn’t we?”

“But…”

“If you can do that, you can do this. I _know_ you can do this. I…” She reached for his hands and entwined their fingers, giving a small tender squeeze that made his heart leap. Her voice was soft and pleading. “I _can’t_ do this without you. _I need you._ ” She leaned forward and her eyes practically shone. “ _Please?_ For _me?_ ”

Castis swallowed the lump in his throat and returned the squeeze. One look from her, and he would give her whatever she wanted. And she knew it.

He narrowed his eyes. “I _know_ what you’re doing.”

She tilted her head toward him, the wide-eyed, innocent look still plastered on her face. “...is it working?”

He tightened his jaw.

 _Yes,_ he thought. _Damn it all, yes._

“ _Trust me._ ” She said again. She gave his hands one last squeeze before leaping to her feet and darting toward the back of the building.

Castis paused, allowing the hot desert wind to blow over him, feeling the tingling in his hands where she had squeezed.

_What have I gotten myself into?_

He stood up and faced the metal door, the convoluted plan running laps around his mind. He stared at the dents, the scratches, the security tech, willing the courage to open the door to come forth. He paced back and forth a few times for good measure.

_‘I need you.’_

He rapped a knuckle on the door. There was a brief pause, then the panel buzzed and the door slid open.

The room was small, dim, and crammed with every weapon Castis had ever seen or even heard about. Shelves upon shelves of pistols, racks of rifles, and even large weapons capable of catastrophic damage. His eyes roved over the inventory, numbers flooding through his mind as he struggled to count them all. Behind the long counter against the wall was a frighteningly large alien glaring at him apprehensively. To his left was a small darkened doorway leading to the back room. There was a decent-sized gap between the krogan and the layered chainlink wall behind him. Just enough room for a limber turian to sneak past.

“Um….hello?” he ventured.

The krogan’s mouth curled in a snarl and his eyes turned into slits. “Evening, _Officer_.”

Castis shrank slightly at the rebuff. _How do they all know?_

As he took a cautious step toward the counter he saw Marcella appear in the doorway to the left of the krogan, practically dwarfed by his large frame. She gave him an affirmative hand signal before slowly inching out the door and sliding against the wall. It took everything in Castis’s power to keep his eyes on the krogan and not her. Everything he had ever read about krogan flooded his brain in loud distracting thoughts. _Thick hide, resistant to extreme heat, cold, radiation, able to go into a type of rage that makes them even more difficult to kill and wanna rip your head off-_

He jerked his head to one side as if to shake the thoughts away. “Are you Grak?”

The large krogan looked above Castis’s head. Following his gaze, Castis craned his neck to see ‘Grak’s Wares’ lit up in neon above the door frame. (does this seem plausible?)

He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Um...right. Anyway…” He straightened up, attempting to shift back into interrogation mode. “So...what’s a krogan doing out here?”

The krogan glared and swept his arm dramatically, gesturing to the wide array before them. “....loaning _weapons?_ ” He said it slowly, as though addressing the stupidest person he had ever met.

“...Right,” Castis dug his nails into his palms, mentally kicking himself. “but...at an old turian outpost? I thought krogan didn’t like turians-”

“I _don’t_ like turians!” Grak banged his fists into the thin metal counter making it rattle and causing Marcella to freeze behind him. “I like their _money_.”

Castis felt a sudden rush of fear that he forced himself to swallow. “I see…”

The krogan straightened up to his full height, a good two feet taller than Castis. "Look, I loan _weapons_ here. If you wanna see my credentials-" he jerked his thumb to the left "-they're on that wall. Now if there's anything else you need..." his voice turned into a threatening growl, indicating that the conversation had better go somewhere fast.

From the back, Marcella waved a hand in a small circular motion, looking at Castis in desperation. _Stall!_

"-Um, actually I-I _am_ here for a gun." He said suddenly.

The krogan’s tone was poisonous. "Oh _really._ " 

"Yes! I heard you were carrying a…" Castis’s eyes roved around the store, his mind racing. He avoided eye-contact with Marcella who kept sliding her way inch-by-inch against the wall closer and closer to the rifle hanging behind the krogan. “a…” His brain turned into sludge as he tried to think of a gun, any gun. The fear seemed to have wiped any knowledge of weaponry from his mind.

“Let me stop you right there.” Grak leaned on the counter, his thick elbows taking up most of the space. “I don’t lend to anyone without a reference.”

“...Oh. Um…”

“Now if you’re done _wasting my time_ -” The large alien waved a hand dismissively and began to turn around. Marcella froze and flattened herself as much as she could against the wall, limbs splayed and eyes wide in terror.

“WAIT!”

The krogan paused, his body half-turned toward the wall but his beady eyes still fixed on Castis. “ _What!?_ ”

“I...I _do_ have a reference…!” Castis’s heart was beating so violently against his chest he was afraid the krogan would hear it. “Someone you know, right? Someone you loaned to before?”

“ _Who?_ ” Grak’s impatience was quickly turning into anger.

“Khatirus! Marcella...Khatirus…?”

From behind the Grak’s large frame, Marcella nodded her head frantically. 

A sound of disgust escaped the krogan’s wide mouth.

Castis continued, “You...know Marcella Khatirus, right?”

Grak rolled his tongue as though trying to rid an unpleasant taste from his mouth. “ _Unfortunately._ ”

Marcella slowly began to make her way to the rifle on the wall again. She was right underneath the mounted rifle now and was beginning to steadily move her arm up towards it. She gave him a small nod, indicating he should keep going.

“Right then. Uh-” Castis scanned the walls, the shelves, and the crates, drawing out his words as slowly as possible to buy more time. “I would like...uh...a….uhhhh...” He could see Marcella’s fingers just starting to brush the tip of the rifle's barrel.

“ _A what?!_ ” Grak let out a full-bodied roar that rattled a few guns off their shelves causing them to clatter noisily to the floor.

Castis lunged toward the closest crate next to the counter and grabbed the first thing on top, a long black cylinder with multiple attachments. “T-this weapon, please.”

Grax didn’t move nor did he even look at the weapon Castis had presented him on the counter. He stared at him, eyes narrowed and mouth pressed tight in contempt. “...That’s a _scope_.”

Castis felt his stomach drop to his knees. “Oh.” He cleared his throat. “I mean. Yes. That’s what I meant--”

“It’s broken.” Grax thrust a finger in the direction of the crate the scope came out of. “That’s the _trash_.”

“...Oh.” Castis said again. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Marcella, mandibles pressed tightly to her face, gently easing the rifle off its hook. He clenched his jaw, determined to sell this act.

“But...I...want it?” He said stupidly.

“...No.”

Castis swallowed, his hands shaking slightly. He clenched his fists and drew himself up to his full height, meeting the krogan’s eye with a piercing stare.

_You can do this, she is counting on you! For once in your stupid life just be the assertive smooth-talking man you need to be. All your hours of negotiation training have led to this. Now shake this guy down!_

“....Please?” He whimpered.

In one motion, Grax swept his large hand across the counter, launching the scope across the room and shattering it against the wall. Its pieces _ting_ ed as they fell against the floor.

“ _Listen._ ” Grax slapped both hands on the counter, once again causing Marcella to freeze. “I’m gonna let you in on a little piece of _advice._ ” 

Castis flinched, preparing himself for another angry krogan tirade.

“If you really _are_ Marcella’s little pet, you should know not to listen to a word she says.”

Castis blinked. “I....huh?”

“She’s nothing but trouble and thinks she can just talk her way out of anything. She's like a wounded klixen, back her into a corner and she burns everything around her.”

Castis shuffled uncomfortably. It took all his willpower to avoid looking at Marcella, who seemed to be listening intently. She had retrieved the rifle and was just starting to head back. “Is..that so...”

“Yeah.” Grak pulled his large hands off the counter causing the thin metal to wobble with the release of the weight. “Except she can’t hack it. She can’t make any ruthless decisions and doesn’t know how to cut the varrenshit. No one trusts her and no one likes her. She's too soft-hearted to be a career criminal but too troublesome for a real job. A real pain in the ass.”

Anger flared through Castis at the krogan’s insult but he kept his tone even. “If she's so bad at it, why keep her around?”

“Because she's loyal. These guys will shoot their own mothers to prove they're tougher than the next guy, but she won’t sell you out.” He nodded slowly, scratching at the tough skin of his neck. “I’ll admit it, there's a part of me that likes her integrity.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah...but there’s an even _bigger_ part of me that hates her stupid little tricks.” 

He slammed his hand behind him, catching Marcella in the chest, knocking the wind out of her and causing her to drop the pilfered rifle. Grak swung his meaty head around, glaring at her with beady yellow eyes. “I _told_ you not to push me.”

“A-Aww, Grak you _do_ like me-!” Marcella gasped, struggling against the chain.

He closed his fist on the front of her jacket and hoisted her into the air with a belly laugh.

 _“Hey!”_ Castis reached out an arm reflexively feeling as though his heart had stopped.

“It's fine!” She motioned for him to stand down. “I have everything under control-”

“Oh, come on _Marcella_ ,” He gave her a rough shake. “You must be even _stupider_ than I thought to think I would fall for this.

She gripped his fingers in a vain effort to pull them off her jacket. “That rifle is practically mine! I’ve paid more than enough for it-”

“Then face me yourself!” He slammed her head against the wall, dragging it against the chainlink, knocking her head into the various guns hung upon it “Think you can sic your little stooge on me you, sneaky, stupid-”

“-ow-owie-OW-”

“-backstabbing, little-”

“Stop!” Castis was starting to panic. He didn’t know what to do. Would a tiny pistol even stop a krogan? Would it just make him angrier? He reached out his hand again, uselessly. “Stop or I’ll….!”

“Cas, _don’t._ ” Marcella’s voice was slightly muffled from being pressed against the wall but her subvocals conveyed a warning.

His breath caught in his throat. A strange wave of warmth seeped through him coupled with a ripple of confusing emotions. ‘Cas’? A nickname? He shuddered at the informality. The way he was raised, only someone really close to the individual would ever call them by a nickname.He must have misheard. Or it’s an act she’s putting on. Or she forgot what his real name is. Whatever the reason, it doesn't mean anything, don’t read into it. He felt himself begin to shake.

_No one has ever called me by a nickname, not even my own parents._

“But-”

“I got this.” She sounded surprisingly calm for someone who was at the mercy of a giant terrifying alien, almost as though this was a common occurrence.

Grak laughed, thick and hearty, thrusting Marvella into the air again. “Hey, you stupid little pyjak, isn’t it obvious yet? She _tricked_ you. Bet she hoped I would just crush your skull while she ran off with the weapon, right Marcella?”

“Hey, this is just between you and me, buddy,” She still struggled in his grip. “besides, you’re too dumb and slow to hit anybody-!”

“What did she tell you?” He gave Marcella another shake, forcing her dangling body to sway back and forth. “Did she give you her sad, little story?”

Castis couldn’t hide his look of confusion.

The krogan’s eyes went wide with mock surprise. “ _Whaaaat?_ She didn’t _tell you?_ ” He brought a large hand to his face. “Oh _no!_ ”

“Grak, don’t you dare-” 

“Go ahead, tell him. Tell him what you tell _all_ the others.” He raised his voice in a loud fake wail. _“Oh, boo-hoo!! Pirates killed my parents!”_

Her body went rigid, all pretense of calm evaporating from her face. “ _Stop_.”

 _“I think the galaxy owes me revenge!_ ” His fake sobs continued. “ _I’m gonna kill the Pirate lord all by myself!”_ Grak laughed in his normal gravelly voice. “Poor little girl. What a sad lot, to only live for revenge! Maybe if you screw over everyone, someone will finally be smart enough to put you out of your misery and you won’t _have_ to go on your little suicidal quest-”

“ _Shut the fuck up, Grak!”_ Marcella flailed helplessly, fury burning in her eyes.

He turned back toward her with a toothy grin. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t just snap your neck right now.”

“Okay listen. Just listen to me.” She stopped struggling and looked into his eyes. “I can get you the money. If you kill me, you get nothing.”

Grak seemed to consider, his large face screwed up in contemplation. “Hmmm...I have a counter offer.” He reached his other hand toward her. “You pay me what you owe and I get to break one of your arms.”

For the first time since entering the shop, genuine fear flashed in her eyes. “Hey-no-you don’t wanna do that-”

“Oh, I do. I r _eally_ do.”

Castis’s brain shrieked. _Do something!_

_“Don’t-!”_

There was a flash of steel and Grak yelled, more in shock than in pain. Marcella had slashed the front of the jacket cutting herself free and slicing his knuckles in the process. The shreds of her ruined jacket were still clutched in his bloodied fist. She hit the ground hard on her feet and clambered over the counter, landing in front of Castis. She brandished a long knife in her hand.

“You sneaky little-!” Grak growled, throwing the bloodied fabric to the ground. “ _Now_ you’ve done it.”

“Sorry, Grak.” She smirked and bodily pushed Castis backward towards the entrance. “Better luck next time.”

“Uh- _huh_.” He ducked his sizable form under the counter and emerged with a large shotgun. 

“Hey, come on, no need for that!” She moved faster, backing into Castis until he was practically smashed against the door. “I get it. Point taken.”

“No, see,” He cocked the shotgun pointedly. “ _Now_ I’m going to kill ya.”

“Uh-!” Castis struggled uselessly between the metal door and her body, fear gripping every fiber of his being.

“It’s alright,” Her voice sounded calm but he felt her hand scramble for the buttons to open the door. “He’s just kidding-”

Grak rose the shotgun at them both and took aim.

“Okay-he’s-not-kidding- _run!_ ”

A harsh buzz rang in Castis’s ears as a blast hit the wall next to his head, knocking a few of the objects hanging precariously off the wall. He fell backward as the door slid behind him, the hot air practically smacking him in the face. Marcella fell back on top of him, crushing his ribs and leaving him gasping for air. They both stumbled to their feet and took off running into the night. _“Come back here you little bitch!”_ Another shot rang out from the shop, but they had already ran past the bar and out of sight.


	5. Chapter 5

The desert air blew against Marcella’s face as she ran as far as she could from the sounds of Grak’s gunshots. Cas was hot on her heels, though based on how fast she had seen him run before, he probably could have surpassed her. Almost like he was being slower in purpose. Odd. She made a note of it as she lead him toward one of the hills that surrounded the otherwise flat landscape. Though they had reached what she figured was a safe distance, she still maintained a steady jog, her feet and breath keeping rhythm. Finally, at the base of a plateau, where the ground sloped more dramatically, she deemed it safe enough to stop.

Marcella doubled over, hands on her knees, panting heavily. After a few breaths, she stood up and exhaled loudly.“ _..._ Okay, _now_ I’ve burned everyone.” She squeezed the bridge of her nose and emitted a long frustrated sigh. She held that pose for a few seconds, letting the disappointment pass through her, then dropped her arm to the side and continued walking forward. “Oh well.” 

_“‘Oh well’!?”_

An outraged voice erupted from behind her and she turned to meet Cas’s angry, blue painted face. He looked about as upset as he had the first time they met. His hands were placed on his hips like some kind of old schoolmarm squawking at a gaggle of unruly students. The visual made Marcella snort.

“You think this is _funny?!_ ” He stomped his foot, now turning into a toddler having a tantrum.

She clapped a hand over her mouth. “No...maybe-I mean, it’s _kind_ of funny- _"_

"It is _not_ funny, we could have _died!_ " He was really livid now. “That krogan almost blew our heads off-”

“Please, you saw what a terrible shot he was-”

“-he threatened to snap your neck, he was gonna break your arm…how can you live like this _?!_ ” He was now pacing in a small circle, subvocals buzzing angrily, finger-wagging at no one in particular. “Sneaking in, trying to fool a krogan - _terrible idea_ never should have allowed it! And _me_ , going in completely unprepared, what was I thinking? And - and _HIM!_ Who authorized his credentials? The fact that you have to deal with that it’s-it’s _unacceptable!_ No way to run a business-” He paused when he noticed the look on her face. “ _What?_ ”

She couldn’t help it, it was too much. The relief of surviving Grak’s tirade and this grown-man stomping around lecturing her, the krogan, _and_ _himself_. She burst out laughing, dropping her hands to her knees again.

“‘…Are you _serious!?_ ” Her ambivalence seemed like it was gonna make his head explode.

“I’m - I’m sorry, it’s just the way you’re-,” She stood up and managed to compose herself with a small cough. “Look, it’s gonna be fine. Krogan are stubborn but Grak loves credits too much to give up on a potential asset. If I can pay him, I’ll get the gun back eventually-”

“‘ _Eventually_ ’-!? Wh--what about _now?_ You need a weapon-!”

"I told you, I _have_ a weapon." She patted her hip where her knife was sheathed. “I took care of it, you saw-”

“No, you need a _real_ weapon. You really needed that gun and...” He wrung his hands and gave her a pained expression.

"Aw, are you really _that_ worried about me?" Her mandibles pulled back in a smile. "I’ll be _fine_ , I piss people off but not usually to the point where they want me dead." She glanced back toward the shop. " _Usually._ "

He shook his head, his anger now seemed to be replaced with something more complicated. “No, no, you _need_ it and you could've got it back if I didn’t...“He took a deep breath and the words came spilling out of his mouth. “I was supposed to help you and I - I _failed_. I couldn’t do it, I let you down, and if I wasn’t so-”

“ _Whoa_ , hey-!” She took a step toward him and placed a hand lightly on his shoulder and immediately felt it relax. “You _did **not** fail_. You did everything right, it was my fault. It…it was a stupid idea anyway.” A pang of guilt hit her right in the chest. _Way to go, you saved his life in the bar only to risk it in the shop._ she thought. _Poor guy._

She gave his shoulder a squeeze. “I shouldn’t have made you do that. I’m sorry.”

Cas blinked, slightly taken aback. His hand wringing became a little less frantic. “It’s okay, you didn’t _make_ me I...I owed you anyway.” He rubbed the back of his neck and avoided her gaze. “I’m just...worried about you.”

She felt a flutter in her stomach. _Awww, this guy..._ “Hey, I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself. Besides, next time I see Grak I’ll make sure all debts are paid." She gave his shoulder a gentle pat. “Is that better?”

Cas exhaled quickly out of his nose. “‘ _Next time’_...?” He shook his head like a disappointed parent and his subvocals hummed in disapproval. His hands were back on his hips. “Owing a debt to a krogan….you shouldn’t even be _dealing_ with krogan in the first place.”

“Ah, it’ll be alright.'' She turned away to keep herself from laughing again and started making her way up the incline. The sound of crunching dirt behind her indicated he was following. “They’re not as bad as you make them out to be. Besides, didn't we kick their ass when they invaded the homeworld and we bombed them back to the stone age and cut their balls off, and now they can't breed or something?” 

“That’s…that’s not even _close_ to what happened-!” 

“Eh, whatever.” She waved a hand over her shoulder and continued climbing the slope.

“Didn't you pay attention in school?” 

“Well, I didn't _go_ to school so-” She said without thinking.

The crunching of his footsteps stopped. “...what do you _mean_ you didn't go to school?”

 _Oops._ The wind ruffled the flaps of her slashed jacket as she paused, her foot half-raised to take another step. Her mandibles flicked in apprehension. Her past wasn’t something she planned on bringing up. She remembered Graks taunting back at the shop. 'Boo-hoo'! His stupid scaly face swam up in her mind’s eye. That son of a bitch. Cas hadn’t brought it up. Yet. Her apprehension grew.

“...Were you part of an off-world program?” He asked.

She let out a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding. “...Suuure, I guess you could say that.” She resumed climbing the hill, careful to move her feet onto the smaller rocks to keep from sliding into the packed dirt. 

“Wait....where are we going…?”

“Just up here. I want to show you something.”

They climbed in silence for a few minutes, Grak’s shop and the ramshackle building of the hideout grew smaller as the hill got steeper. Soon, only the faint twinkling of the neon lights could be seen in the darkness that stretched below them. As they reached the top, the slope leveled sharply until only a flat clearing of packed dirt was before them. The sky stretched above, a veritable sea of stars that threatened to swallow the plateau.

“Huh…” Cas took a few steps out onto the clearing, his eyes scanning the edge into the darkness. “…interesting.”

“Like the view?”

She watched him walk over to the edge and look at the tiny neon lights below. Then, he glanced up at the millions of twinkling stars. His subvocals gave a short buzz of frustration.

“What’s wrong? Don’t like stars?” She teased.

He buzzed again, louder. “You have _no_ idea….”

“...What?”

“Mmm, nothing.” He stepped away from the edge and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his ill-fitting jacket.

“Hold on, just watch for a second.” She walked over and stood next to him, staring out over the horizon. ”If we’re lucky, we might see it.”

Cas looked at her curiously but said nothing, following her gaze down into the darkness.

They stood in silence for a few minutes, the hot wind picking up specks of dirt around them. Suddenly, far off where the ground met the sky there was movement. 

“There-!” Marcella pointed.

In the distance, streaks of shadow rose from the desert floor in the hundreds and hovered in the night sky. They glowed in faint bioluminescence for only a moment, before falling back to the darkness below.

“Whoa…” Cas studied the spectacle curiously as the lights twinkled in and out. “What is that?”

Marcella smiled. “Bloodrays. When the nights get hot like this, they take to the air. I think it’s a mating ritual.” She shook her head and sighed. “And me without a rifle…”

Cas shifted uncomfortably. It seemed the reminder of the missing rifle still was still upsetting.

“It’s not a big deal, it’s just, see,” She lifted her hands, mimicking the firing of a rifle at the air, “when you shoot ‘em they _pop_ and there's this bright blue explosion that rains down and it’s actually really pretty-” She hesitated, noting his concerned expression.“....or….so I’m told….”

" _Hmph_." His eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened, most likely biting back another lecture. She chuckled. 

“Hey, I guess it _is_ a good thing I don’t have the gun then, huh?” She gave him a playful nudge. “ _Huuuh?_ ”

He looked back at the bloodrays, watching them swoop and dive. “...I really _am_ sorry-”

 _“It’s-fine-I-promise-!”_ She nudged her elbow into his side with each word, ending with a slight giggle. “ _Really._ ”

“...It’s just important to me that you’re safe.”

Her mandibles clamped to the sides of her face and her stomach flip-flopped violently. _Damn…!_ She lifted her arm and contemplated wrapping around his waist but lifted it higher, settling for the safety of his shoulder. She rested her cheek on the curve of her hand, staring off at the rays. “You're a sweet guy, Cas.”

She felt his shoulder tense and his hands grasped together desperately as something akin to bewilderment flashed in his eyes. “You…....did it again.”

“Did what again?” 

“You...called me…“ His voice was trembling slightly. “… _’Cas’_.”

“Uh, yeah?”

“I...I mean...it’s...a _nickname_ -”

 _“Oh!”_ She drew her hand back. “ _Right._ That’s...really forward. Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, formality isn't really a thing out here. I'll stop. Unless…” She gave him a sideways glance. “you don't mind...?”

“Well...I mean...if you _really_ want to…” His hands were a flurry of nervous movement but his subvocals hummed as though the idea actually made him quite pleased.

“So...you’re okay with me calling you…” A devilish look crossed her face. “ _’Cas’_?”

He opened his mouth to speak but then snapped it shut, his eyes growing wide. He gave a tiny nod.

“ _Good._ ” She gave him a wink and turned on her heel, heading away from the edge. “There’s one more thing.”

She led him toward the middle of the plateau, kicking up clouds of dirt until a dark spot on the ground loomed into view. In the middle of the otherwise barren clearing, was a small patch of grass.

“Is that...?” Cas passed her and knelt by the patch reaching a hand out to touch it’s bright green blades. “I didn't think anything could grow here.”

“Usually _,_ it can’t.” She took out a flask from one of her pockets, unscrewed the top, and took a small sip. She held it out over the patch.

He reached out a hand. “Uh, thank-”

She upended the flask and dumped the remaining water onto the grass.

“Wha-! Don’t waste it!”

“I’m not _wasting_ it,“ She shook out the last few drops. “it's for the garden.”

Cas stared at the tiny spot of dry sparse grass. “The... _‘_ garden’?”

“Yeah. _The garden_.” She gave him a look that dared him to insist it was anything otherwise.

“...I see.”

She sat down on the patch, crossing one leg over the other, and lightly patted a spot next to her. “Sit.” She ordered.

The patch was barely wide enough to fit the both of them but Cas managed to squeeze in next to her. He sat with his hands on his knees, his posture stiff and unnatural, seemingly doing everything in his power to not brush up against her accidentally.

There was an awkward silence as they both sat huddled on the tiny stretch of grass.

“...Pretty great huh?”

“Um, yeah.” Cas shifted his feet, brushing them against the tips of the blades. “It’s very nice.”

Marcella chuckled both at herself and the awkwardness of the situation. “...yeah, I know it’s pretty mediocre but I’m doing my best-” 

“No! It-it _is_ nice. I’ve never seen any kind of vegetation around here, how did you manage to find it?”

Her mandibles flicked mischievously. “I _grew_ it.”

“Oh, wow, that’s...very impressive!” He seemed to mean it.

“Ah, it’s nothing really.” She raked her fingers through the grass. "It cost a lot to get these seeds. But it was worth it.”

“How long have you been growing this?”

“Just a few months. Lugging water up here is a pain, but you can’t beat the view.” She leaned back, resting on her elbows. “I sleep up here sometimes. Go ahead and relax, it’s softer than it looks.” 

Cas leaned back gingerly and clasped his hands stiffly across his stomach. "Hm...it is.” He turned his head toward her. “You like plants?"

"Yeah." She dug her fingers deeper into the roots, feeling the coarseness of the grass fibers between her fingers. “When I was little I….”

***

She was gazing at a short tree, its branches heavy with purple fruit. Its verdant green leaves shone with a slight metallic glint in the sun, contrasting with the bright blue of the sky. She reached out a tiny hand and touched the fruit’s rough texture on its oblong shape. Beyond were rows and rows of crops, all lined neatly in organized sections as far as she could see. Adults milled between, tending to the plants, and the damp smell of soil being turned over filled her nose. She moved on to the next row, thick bushes with some sort of orange flower. The petals were soft and fuzzy and emitted a musky but pleasant smell. Merely sniffing the flowers only yielded a faint scent. She stuck her whole face in the shrub and immediately pulled back. The pollen had invaded her nose and made her sneeze.

A voice called out. She couldn't remember exactly what it sounded like, only that it was to her. She would spend many years trying to remember that voice.

*

She was much older, sitting in the dark. The only light was emanating from the bright screen of a datapad. She was leaning against the cold metal sliding of the ship's engine room. Her feet on the blankets of her sad excuse of a bed, the ship’s engine humming in her ears. On the computer screen was a picture of a particular shrub with orange flowers she had searched everywhere on the extranet for. She looked at it every night before falling asleep.

***

“...I...uh…” Marcella swallowed. A dark pit pulled in her stomach, threatening to take her to a place she had learned to avoid. She sat up and gave her head a jerk as if to throw the thoughts from her head. _Well damn, there goes my mood._

“...I just always wanted my own garden.” Her voice trailed off weakly and she pulled absentmindedly at the shreds of fabric in the front of her ruined jacket. 

“Oh, here-” Cas pushed himself up and fussed with the fastenings of his own jacket. “You can have mine.” 

“It’s alright, you don't have to-”

The jacket was already off and put upon her shoulders before she could say anymore. His scent surrounded her. Her mood improved considerably.

“Heh, still a gentleman even after-” She paused, staring at the badge now visible on his clothes and raised a finger slowly. “You...still...wore your uniform…..”

“Yeah?”

“Hey, I have a question: are you the _worst_ undercover cop in the galaxy?”

He bristled. "I'm supposed to wear my uniform at all times!"

“But not when…!” She laughed and shook her head. “Cas, you are the most…” She tried to think of a way to put it gently. “... _passionate_ security officer I’ve ever met.” 

It was true, most security she ran into out here took bribes, were trigger-happy, or just didn’t give a shit about the people they were supposed to be protecting. As a matter of fact, even for a _turian_ Cas was a stickler for the rules. Not an easy feat.

His eyes had widened slightly at the return of the informal nickname, but otherwise, he seemed to deflate. “...Yeah. I’ve heard that before.”

She altered her approach. “No, I mean...that can be a good thing!”

He scoffed.

“No, really it’s...kind of nice actually. Everyone always takes the easy way out, especially out here. But you...you genuinely care. You actually try to follow your morals even if you have to...” She gave him a nudge with her elbow. “... _lug_ someone all the way back to your base. It’s...kind of refreshing.”

His mandibles twitched slightly.

“Probably didn’t do you any favors though.” She continued. “Let me guess; you were gonna be promoted over someone else, so they had to get rid of you?”

“What do you mean?”

"You must have pissed off someone pretty bad to be stationed all the way out here.”

“What? Of course not.” Cas puffed out his chest. ”I came here voluntarily.”

“You _what?_ ” Her head snapped in his direction. “ _Why?_ ”

“To train under General Faldos!” He looked at her as though the answer was obvious. “It was an incredible opportunity.”

“Who?”

“You know, back at the base. The one you, uh…” He shifted uncomfortably, ”... _met_.”

“ _That_ guy?!” She felt a twinge of disgust at his memory. “The one that almost smashed your face in?”

“He can be a bit...temperamental, but-”

“I didn’t even think biotics _could_ become generals.” She plucked at the grass to hide her irritation, tossing aside shriveled blades. “Don’t they just send them away or something?”

Cas sat up a little straighter, seemingly excited about the subject. “Oh, Faldos is not an ordinary General! It’s actually a very interesting story.”

She wrinkled her nose as she pictured the general's ugly face, angry and shrieking. The way he practically destroyed his office over a little transgression like some kind of madman. She feigned interest out of politeness. “Hm, really...?”

“Yes!” He leaned in, eyes twinkling. “When he was only 16 he graduated from-”

Marcella felt her eyes glaze over as his voice turned into background noise. It didn’t matter. He could wax poetic for hours about that asshole, nothing would make her think that man was anything but some psycho. Cas was brave to stand up to him, it could have even cost him his job. Or would he just have been severely punished? She wondered how their arrangement worked. Maybe she would ask him more after he was done telling her that guy’s entire life story. He was so into it, his head bobbing up and down, his hands all waving around. She felt her stomach flip-flop again. He really was adorable.

“-of very few to actually be called _The Pride Of Palaven_ a title only held by-”

Too bad he had turned her down. She had made her intentions pretty clear back at the fort and he didn’t seem into it. Maybe he was just shy? He definitely was a pushover. It didn’t seem very hard to convince him to go along with something. And he was really sweet when he wanted to be. Talk about getting mixed signals. Maybe he’s like that with everyone and he’s a terrible cop. No, surely there's an underlying reason. He obviously liked her. He had remembered her name. The way he looked at her, there was no denying it. He was just too career-focused to take it anywhere. Shame.

“- assigned to Fort Audax because of its history in the war of -”

Maybe she should try again? Nah, don’t pressure the poor guy, he’s had a rough enough night as it is. Oh well. Being friends wouldn't be so bad. Having a cop on her side probably wasn’t a bad idea either. And who knows, maybe he would change his mind. They could have fun for a little while. Or not. Either it’ll happen or it won’t. She watched him trace something in the dirt to illustrate a point he was making. His uniform matched his eyes. She hoped something would happen.

“-abundant resource of palladium, which is why these outposts even needed to be manned.”

There was a long pause. Marcella blinked herself out of her fog to realize he was done talking. “Oh, uh, okay, yeah, that’s...it’s neat.” She mumbled.

“....I’m so sorry.” Cas’s shoulders slumped. He smashed his hands together, squeezing and pulling the fingers anxiously. “I went on for far too long, that was very rude-”

“No!” Now she felt bad. If she had learned one thing that night it was that his sudden hand-wringing was never a good sign. “It’s - it’s _really_ fascinating please, uh....continue...” She couldn’t help but wince slightly at the idea of him continuing to talk about wars she didn’t care about and resources the planet was abundant in.

Cas didn’t seem to be listening. He groaned and cradled his head in his hands. “You brought me to this nice place and I’m just _rambling-_ ”

“That’s not-!”

“-and wasting your time, you must think I’m the _rudest_ person alive-”

“Oh, _please!”_ She chuckled and gave his shoulder a playful shove. “It’s not like that at all!” Her mandibles twitched as a positively evil idea popped into her head. _“_ Trust me, this is hardly the worst _first date_ I've ever been on.” 

She turned away so he wouldn’t see her smile.

“No, no, you don’t have to-” Cas went rigid, His eyes snapped open and he peeked at her through his fingers. “Wait. Did you say...do you consider this a _DATE?!_ ”

"One time,” She continued as though she hadn’t heard him. “I was with an Asari and it was actually going really well until she revealed that she had actually killed one of my friends." Marcella chucked. "Rest of the night went alright, though."

Cas hadn’t moved a muscle. He sat frozen, his eyes wide and unblinking as though he had forgotten how to. If she didn’t know any better she would think he was short-circuiting.

Marcella’s smile faded. _Uh oh._

“Hey, Cas? You _okaaaay?”_ She lifted her hand to the side of his face and gave it a little pat. “You wanna talk about resources again...?”

He opened his mouth to speak but seemed to think better of it and closed it again. Slowly, his hands came together and clasped, rubbing anxiously. 

_Noooo! Not the hand-wringing! Do something!_ She looked around wildly for a change in topic.

"So..... _plants!”_ She clapped her hands together and turned her attention to the grass they were sitting on. “Uh, yeah, this is actually called Sikus Grass.” She ran her fingers through the blades and pulled out a tuft. “It grows in arid climates, though, not appropriate for _this_ climate which is why it's all…” She held up the dry, shriveled blade and twirled it in her fingers. “...yeah. Fairly common, but unfortunately not native to this system and...surprisingly expensive considering it has no nutritional value. Ugh, you wouldn’t _believe_ how they gouged me…” She flicked the blade to the side. "You know, I spent so much time on a ship, I told myself as soon as I could find solid ground I would grow something." She chuckled lightly. “See? Now _I'm_ rambling.”

To her surprise, his mandibles gave a small twitch in amusement. “Heh.”

"Ah-!” She gave him a nudge with her elbow, causing him to tense. “Made you laugh!”

"Um, _ahem!_ ” He looked away and pretended to be interested in some of the rocks on the outskirts of the grass. “ _So_ , uh...you...spent time on a ship?”

“More time than I wished to, yes.” 

“Is that where you were born?”

Marcella paused, then shook her head. “Colony, actually.”

"Oh, really?” He turned back toward her, eyes lit up in interest. “What was that like? To be honest, I don’t know how people do it, it must take great courage. It always sounded so dangerous.”

The dark pit in her stomach reformed and her mood soured. "Yeah. It is." She said, flatly. 

Cas snapped his mouth shut as he realized he touched a nerve. Whether it was from her reaction or the fact that he had pieced together what Grak had said before, she didn’t know. 

“I...I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...” Like clockwork, he was wringing his hands again.

“It's...fine.” Her voice was flecked with irritation. “Grak was _nice enough_ to tell you, you might as well actually hear it from me. He’s right, everybody already knows, so I guess you should too.”

_I just wish it wasn't the first thing you knew about me._

Cas exhaled slowly through his teeth, anger coloring the skin beneath his plates. “Damn him.” His voice was surprisingly steady. He seemed calmer in the face of her anxiety as opposed to his own. “He had _no right_ to tell me anything.”

“I think...it was an agrarian colony.” She swallowed, her throat tight and dry. 

_Better to get it over with._

“I barely remember. I was very young when it happened.” She picked at her nails and tried to ignore the growing pit in her stomach. “It was attacked by a group of pirates. By the time reinforcements came, they were gone and...I was the only one left. By the time they get there, it's just...picking up the pieces."

"...I'm sorry."

Marcella just nodded. That’s what they all said. Just the same platitudes over and over. It wasn’t really his fault, what else was there to say?

“Then, I was raised in a shelter. As soon as I could, I left and joined whatever merc group I could to get back out there.” She jutted her chin at the sky, the star’s innumerable. “So I could...maybe find the people responsible and…I don’t know...” She shook her head. “... _bring them to justice_ , I guess?” She laughed weakly. Grak was right, except it wasn’t just suicidal, it was ridiculous. “Pretty...pretty dumb, huh?”

Cas was staring at the ground, jaw set, mandibles twitching in budding outrage. "The people who raided your colony... _are still out there?_ "

"Oh, the gang is _long_ gone. But the people that were in charge? They form new groups. Move on to new... _conquests._ ” She nearly spat in disgust. “Assume new identities, move around to new systems. General consensus seems to be it’s too much of a bother to track them all down so…”

Cas’ mandibles flared. Anger seemed to stir in him in a way that eclipsed any he had had over her previous infractions. "See...this. _This is why.”_

He pushed himself to his feet so suddenly it made Marcella shift to get out of his way. “This is why I wanted to be in law enforcement! _It shouldn’t have to be this way.”_ He started pacing, hand on his chin, working himself into some kind of fervor. “The fact that they think they can just...do this. _Ruin lives_ and get away with it! Someday, I’m...I’m gonna fix it.”

Marcella scoffed.

“I'm serious!"

She gave him what she hoped was a polite smile but her subvocals betrayed her condescension. “It’s a nice sentiment but I’m pretty sure it's a _little_ more complicated than that.” 

“Well, yes, but-”

“Everyone looks out for themselves and does what it takes to survive. If some people get stepped on, so be it. That’s how it's always been and always will be. No _one person_ is gonna change that.”

“Not if you…” He looked slightly embarrassed but nonetheless determined. “...try hard enough.”

She suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. "You've got _a lot_ to learn-"

"The _galaxy_ has a lot to learn!"

Marcella hummed thoughtfully and went back to tugging at the grass. So, he was one of those types. A hothead who still thinks he can change the world. Endearing, but fruitless. A few hard knocks and he’ll change his tune. Or get eaten alive. It’s always one or the other.

He continued. "Once I take my credentials and put them to use...maybe with enough influence...”

She gave him a sideways glance. “Is that what you really want? Power?”

“Yes - I mean - no! I just-” He made a frustrated sound. “Honestly, if it was up to me, I would just...sit behind a desk and reorganize _everything_. Change laws, write laws, I don’t know, just _something_. The entire system is flawed-”

“No argument there.”

“-and if it can be reformed-”

“Tch.”

Cas huffed and his mandibles clicked impatiently. “Look, you want to go after this guy on your own, I want to change the system that leads men like that to justice. Are you saying your idea is _better?_ ”

“Yes!” A harsh laugh escaped her. “ _Yes, I am!_ No red tape! No one to consult! No...trespassing laws or whatever stupid thing they would throw at me.”

“But it’s dangerous!”

“So what? _Someone_ has to do it.”

He shook his head and grumbled something she couldn’t make out.

“Mm? What was that?”

He turned his head away from her, more than likely suppressing a glare. “...I said ‘why just benefit yourself when you can benefit everyone.”

“Oh, but that’s the best part! Killing him _would_ benefit a lot of people.”

“Not as much as someone who can prevent people like him from committing crimes in the first place!” He continued pacing and gesticulating as though he was on a stage for a presentation. “All you need is someone who knows what they’re doing. Someone who isn’t corrupt. There are a lot of people in positions of authority that abuse that power, going against _everything_ they should stand for. They sidestep the rules because they’d rather do what is easy, rather than what’s right-”

She gave him a pointed look. “Like...that general you’re training under?”

Cas stopped in his tracks, hands frozen mid-gesture. “I...yes.”

“The one you _gushed_ about?”

“...Yes.”

She let his silence hang in the air. Every cop she had ever run into was a jaded, cynical, shell of a person who decided it was easier to just look the other way. The general was just as bad, if not worse and Cas would wind up just like him. So much for a date, here she was ruining his ‘dreams’.

She sighed. “...I’m sorry, I know it’s your job, I’m not gonna pin that on you-”

“No. You're right.” His eyes were darting back and forth, the gears of his mind turning, conflicted. He clasped his hands but, surprisingly, didn’t wring them. “His accomplishments are great but he is...part of the problem and…” He turned and met her gaze. “I _have_ to receive his recommendation if I want to advance. How do I….change the system without actively participating in it?”

She looked back down at the grass and saw loose bits of grass resting on top that she had torn out in fistfuls without realizing. “...I don’t know. I wouldn't be able to.”

“Then you are much braver than I am.”

She scoffed. “On that, we can agree. But who knows, maybe the law will miraculously prevail and I _won’t_ have to take matters into my own hands.” She met his eye again. “But it’s not a bet I would take.

“...Hm.” Cas stood, one hand on his chin, the other on his hip. His mind was far away, and his subvocals rumbled thoughtfully, as though running the numbers for an unsolvable problem. His expression was grim. 

“...Turning into quite the serious date, huh?” She gave him what she hoped was a reassuring wink.

That seemed to work. “Oh..!” His head snapped up. “Uh…!”

" _So!_ ” She wiped the dirt from her hands and tried to think of a better way to steer him out of his ethical dilemma. "Organize everything, huh?”

“What?”

“Is that what you said? You want to write laws, reform the system, and all that?

“Oh, well…yeah. I’m a long way off but…” He shuffled his feet and stared at the ground sheepishly. “I’ve always wanted to be in a position to bring order, _true order_ , to the world. Maybe a legislator, write laws that can ultimately come into fruition or maybe even be promoted to...” He shook his head. “It’s a long-shot, I know.

“So what's your ultimate goal? Like a Primarch?”

Cas balked. “ _Primarch,_ uh _,_ I don’t know about that-”

Marcella sat up. “Okay, forget titles, you’re in charge. That’s it. Your word is law. What’s the _first_ thing you do?”

His subvocals whined in embarrassment. “I...It’s silly, we really don't have to talk about this if you don't want to-”

“No, come on, this could be fun! Pretend like I’m your assistant.” She held out her hands and mimicked tapping on an invisible datapad. “Okay, Mr. Vakarian. You’re in charge. Go.”

“Umm...I..I mean... _well_...“ He stuck out a hand toward her. “ _obviously_ , I would scour turian space of pirates and set up protections for the outer colonies...!”

A light feeling filled her belly and spread throughout her chest. “I...like the sound of that. But admittedly that could take a while and I was thinking something more, uh, immediate.” She cleared her throat and attempted to shake the feeling away. _Okay, one more line like that out of you, and I swear..._

“Hmm...the _first_ thing I’d do…?” He was pacing again, his mouth moving wordlessly along with his thoughts. “Well...to be honest...I always had this one idea…”

She smiled as he walked past. “Well?”

He stopped suddenly and went rigid as though called to attention. “I got it.”

Her hands hovered over the pretend keyboard. “I’m ready!”

“ _First_ thing I’m doing...” His back was to her and it almost seemed like he was addressing all the stars in the sky. She grinned wider. His excitement was infectious.

“Yeah?”

“...if I was in charge…” He put a hand on his hip, the other arm bent at the elbow, hand pointed skyward. She didn’t know if he was making a point or if he was always this dramatic.

"Uh-huh?"

“iiiis…”

“Yeees?”

He turned, face full of triumph, eyes locked on and finger pointed straight at her. 

“I’m gonna…...…!”

The word turned into a small squeak as his voice seemed to die in his throat. His eyes went wide and he froze, as though shocked to see her sitting there. 

Marcella stared back, hands still poised, mouth parted, hanging onto his every word. She leaned forward a little more, eyebrow plates raised, waiting for his answer.

He continued to stare at her, open-mouthed, finger still pointed at her, though now starting to droop.

"......a garden."

Marcella blinked, her eager expression still plastered on her face. “........Eh?”

***

Castis didn’t believe in the concept of true love. He didn’t believe in love at first sight or soul mates or spiritual connections or in destiny of any kind. Love was never something that made sense to him. Songs and stories of the topic fell on deaf ears. It was always so overblown, so unfamiliar, so _excessive_. It was a part of life that wasn’t for him and he had accepted it.

Until now.

Something had happened. Something had awoken. He felt it when he saw her for the first time, when they had danced together, and he felt it now, stronger than ever. Something in his heart had expanded. Like opening a door you never noticed was there. Seeing her there now, her eyes, her face, her smile, her laugh. The way she touched his shoulder, the way she joked, the way she actually _cared_ about his feelings, his worries, his goals. She deserved everything. She was everything.

He couldn’t remember what he was originally going to say. It didn’t matter.

"I’m...I’m gonna give you a garden."

There was a moment where all they could do was stare at each other. 

She was on her feet in seconds. In 2 steps, she was in front of him and her hands were on both sides of his face. 

Castis didn’t have time to react. 

He felt himself be pulled forward and he met her mouth. 

Electricity exploded through his chest, running down his arms and into his head until he felt like he was gonna burst. His whole body shook, but not nearly as much as his hands which were hovering in the vicinity of her waist, trembling too violently to react. She was invading all of his senses to the point where he didn’t know what was up or down. A cacophony of joy, shock, fear, euphoria, and emotions he didn’t even know he could feel erupted in his brain. When she pulled away it felt like it had been both a lifetime and an instant.

Her eyes were shining, still so close to his face. “...Ah... _heh_. Sorry, I uh-”

He leaned back in immediately, stopping the words from leaving her mouth. She elicited a small gasp followed by an excited trill he both felt and heard as it vibrated against his mouth. A courage he didn’t know he possessed had taken hold and his hands managed to find their way around her waist. Everything about her was invigorating and he wanted as much of her as he could hold.

Suddenly, she broke away, her voice a hurried whisper. " _Lie down._ " 

He was in a daze. “Hhh...wha..?”

She hooked her leg behind his and swung it back, forcing him to stumble and taking them both roughly to the ground.

“Oof-!” The sky lurched into view, partially blocked by the dark shape of her silhouette as he felt her weight press on top of him. He felt her breath on his neck and her hands work up his chest pulling roughly at the fastenings. Ice ran up his spine as her intentions were suddenly made clear. “Wh...whoa, hold on, r-right here? _Right now??”_

Her eyes flashed wickedly as she pawed at the clasps of his uniform. _“Oh,_ yeah…!"

“Wait, wait - !” He grabbed her wrists as his stomach squeezed into knots. “ _Stop!!_ ”

She paused, slowly raising herself from his chest, and gave him an apologetic look. "...Damn. I read it wrong again, didn't I?"

“No!” He fought to steady his breathing. “No, I….! It's just…I…!” He sat up on his elbows. His thoughts banged around his head in a mindless jumble. “I...I’ve…”

_You can do this. Don’t screw this up again._

“I've never…n- _never_ …!”

Her eyes went wide. She slowly leaned back with a look of apparent understanding. “ _Oooooh…!_ Oh, I _see…!_ ” Her tone was not reassuring. 

He felt his chest squeeze. _“_ You...do…?”

“Don’t worry! It’s okay, really!” She shuffled off of him hurriedly, taking extra care at the placement of her hands. She sat back down on the ground, leaving a generous amount of space between them. Also not reassuring. “It’s perfectly fine, don’t be embarrassed.”

“...Are you sure…?” 

“Of course! There's nothing wrong with being… _inexperienced.”_

Castis’s eyes practically bulged out of his head.

_NO! NO NO NO!!_

“We can just...take it slow! Or talk!” She continued. “We can just keep talking-”

The skin under his plates burned and he sputtered helplessly. “That’s not-! I’m..! W-wh...I'm _plenty_ experienced….!!” He balled his hands into fists and jammed them into his eyes, moaning in defeat. “That's _not what I was going to say…!!”_

She raised her hands in surrender and shook her head in utter bemusement. “Uh, okay then! I'm listening. Take your time.”

Castis inhaled slowly through his teeth. The wave of anxiety swelled. “What I... _meant_ to say was...” 

“M-hm?” She nodded encouragingly, her mandibles pulling into a smile.

The words were like agony coming out of his throat. “I've...never…. _felt_ …”

Her smile faded a little.

“...this way about someone…”

She blinked a little too rapidly.

“...before.”

“... _Oh_.” 

There was a reluctance in her subvocals that made his heart sink into his stomach, the numbness of its void filled his chest as the wave crashed down, pulling him under. He wrung his hands raw, the nails biting into the backs of his hands.

Marcella snatched his wrists and forced his hands apart. “Okay, _seriously_ , you’re gonna end up squeezing these things off.” 

The slight amusement in her voice didn’t shift his focus. He was still drowning under the wave. “...It’s too much, isn’t it.” It wasn’t a question. He was always too much.

He tried to pull his hands away but she held firm.

“No, don’t...Cas, I _do_ like you.”

He shivered at the informality. It never got old.

“I just, uh…you’re giving me a lot of credit here.” She chuckled dryly. “Once you get to know me, you’ll probably change your mind.”

He gave his head a small shake.

_Never._

“How about we just...see what happens?” She gave her shoulders a small shrug.

"...Yes. Yes, of course." He felt the wave recede, his head popping up to take a breath of air. "Take it slow, start over, do it right. Like a…”

“A first date?” She winked at him. “A _real_ first date?”

“Y-yes! Exactly. Maybe...dinner?”

Her laugh made his heart leap. “Sure.”

His heart was racing and he felt emboldened. “After that, we can officially start our courtship.”

“Oh, heh, okay...”

"We can start visiting each other regularly, following the general's approval-"

His speech came faster and faster. He knew he was blowing it but he couldn't stop.

“-maybe you could even work at the fort and then we could have a shared living space until I am promoted-”

“Well, uh-"

"-and then when we are legally joined-”

“Oh, _wow_ -”

“-you can come with me to wherever I am stationed, we can build our own house, and together we'll bring order to turian space as we climb the citizen-ship tier-” 

Slowly, she lifted her hands until they were hovering an inch from either side of his face.

“-then when we both retire-”

She clapped them against the sides of his cheeks with a light _smack_.

Castis blinked, the deafening hum of his mind finally slowing to a quiet.

“ _Dinner_ would be great.” Marcella smiled, her subvocals thrummed a calming tone.

"...Okay.” He felt all the tension release from his body with her touch, her voice. A date. A _real_ date. With _her_. Warmth permeated his chest, spreading down into his fingers. "But...when…where?" 

Her shoulders bounced again. "Hm, I don't know, tomorrow night?"

 _Tomorrow!_ So soon. So far away. 

“Maybe your place?” Her eyes narrowed and her mandibles twitched playfully. “Sorry, need more time…?” 

“N-no, that’s...fine.” The beat of his heart thudded in his ears and he tore his eyes away from her, all his senses were overloaded and it was getting hard to breathe. 

_A date, tomorrow, my room. She’s gonna be in my room. Tomorrow. Alone. With me._

He stared out across the flat landscape. Strands of green were littering the ground by the hundreds, being pulled about by the wind and he counted them to relax his breathing. _...12, 13, 14,...Wait._

“Oh…!” 

Castis leapt to his feet, his eyes following the source of the strands and settling on the disheveled patch of Marcella’s grass. Ripped, unkempt, and uprooted.

“ _No_ …” He scooped up a handful of blades, coarse in his fingers, the green shifting into white at the root. Dry, but still full of life. “Your patch…”

“Guess I was a little too rough.” Marcella walked over to the now dilapidated plot and bent over to sift through the clumps of dirt and fibers, plucking up a few strands. “Damn, it was _so expensive_ too.”

“Maybe...we can fix it?”

"Hmm, I think it’s a lost cause...ah, well!" She flopped down on what remained of the mangled patch sending clouds of dust into the air, her arms crossed behind her head. “No point in wasting it.” 

“You’re not upset?”

A smile tugged at her mandibles and her eyes closed. “Nah, I think...tonight was worth it.” She patted the grass next to her. “Join me. It will only be soft for one more night until it dries out.”

Castis sat down next to her, the warmth returning to spread throughout his limbs. 

_She thinks I’m worth it…._

“I...really can’t stay. I have to report back before tomorrow.” He hummed reluctantly, staring at soft grass, her form splayed upon it, nestled in his jacket. It looked so comfortable. His chest tugged in longing.

“Mm, okay....” She murmured.

“Well...maybe just...for a minute.” He slid down beside her, the smell of the grass and uprooted earth filling his nose, her warmth next to him. He felt his eyelids grow heavy.

“......Mmm….” The weak rumble in her throat and the steadiness of her breathing told him she was already fading.

He fought to keep his eyes open. _Just for a moment. Can’t fall asleep. Just a few more minutes….._

He looked at the sky, a myriad of twinkling lights. So numerous, so close together, some winking so faintly it was impossible to tell they were there. He gave a half-hearted grumble of irritation.

_Stupid...uncountable...stars…..._


End file.
